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Q & A with Father Anthony

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Worthy?

Ann asks:

Dear Fr Anthony,

I want to be a nun but the only obstacle is that I lost my virginity and I knew that it was wrong. I confessed it and it's over now. And I don't have a desire to go down that road again; and don't worry that's not my reason for my vocation. There are much more valid reasons than that.

But when I think of becoming a nun they are so holy and pure... I just don't feel worthy enough. I know no one is worthy enough to be the bride of Christ but still I feel that I would be more unworthy then the others.


Dear Ann,

If God chooses you to be his bride, it is not because of your merits but an invitation he makes to you and a grace he gives you. Sure, we have to do our best on our side to be "worthy" of his gift, to live up to it. I don't want to minimize this, but a one-time fault is something that with his forgiveness and help we can pull back from and rebuild our life after, -- perhaps even more humbly than before and more truly believing in our smallness and his greatness, and with a greater sense of our weakness and his strength, the fallen-ness of our nature and the beauty of his holiness.

It is true, of course, there is some behavior that, because of the way in which it affects us, weakens us and controls us, is an indication that we oughtn’t to attempt to follow a vocation. What you describe does not seem to be of that category of fault, but to be sure you need to speak with more detail to a spiritual director, or to a priest in confession.

If you feel “more unworthy” than others, yet do have a vocation, all the more reason to give yourself to God more intensely and totally, full of hope and love, because you can truly say that he must love you more than others, if despite what you are, he still calls you.
Don't look at yourself; look at him. God bless.

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