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Q & A with Father Anthony

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Marriage vs. Consecrated life

Jessie asks:

Dear Fr. Anthony, I am a freshman in high school where it is Vocations Week. My whole life I have wanted to be the mother of a large family and to raise my children in the Catholic faith. Being around Consecrated Women I know the importance of searching for my vocation. I am leaning toward marriage but I want to do God's will. How do I discern my vocation without being biased to one side?

Thank You.


Dear Jessie,

 It is very beautiful that you want to do God's will, there is nothing better that you could ever possibly want. Now, you have always wanted to be a mother but you don't want your search for God's will to be biased by your inclinations and you want to know what to do.

First of all, it is true that sometimes God leads us where we first did not want to go, but this is always a result of certain interior development, the workings of grace in our soul that allow us to change our attitudes and discover his will, and it is always accompanied by peace, not turmoil, in our decision.

As regards your present situation, you are still a freshman so you have time to work with. God always builds his tomorrows on our todays, and he reveals his ultimate plans through our daily yes to his will. You see, when you discover and say yes to your ultimate vocation, it is a big yes; and you become able to give this big yes through all the small yeses that make up his will for you each day. The problem usually is not finding out what God's will is, but being able or having the disposition to say yes to it. If God wants a person to consecrate him or herself to him, he will make it know to them in his own good time, and when that happens, the person will be able to say yes, if up to that point they have always been saying yes to Christ in the small, everyday things.   

I would not concentrate so much now on trying to discover, discern what your ultimate vocation is. Just live your present vocation as a Catholic, a daughter, a student, a friend of Christ, an apostle among your friends. Keep the center of your thoughts off yourself and more on those you can help. For now, leave everything else in God's hands. Trust him and live the present. 

God bless,

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