Year III, Number 15

The word "vocation" is a very good definition of the relationship that God has with every human being in the freedom of love, because "every life is a vocation" (Paul VI, Enc. Lett. Populorum progressio, 15). God, after completing his work of creation, looked on man and saw that he was "very good" (cf. Gen 1, 31): he made him "in his image and likeness", he put the universe into his operative hands and called him to an intimate relationship of love.

Vocation is the word that leads us to understand the dynamisms of God's revelation, and thus reveals to man the truth about his existence. "An outstanding cause of human dignity," we read in the Council document Gaudium et spes, "lies in man's call to communion with God. From the very circumstance of origin, man is already invited to converse with God. For man would not exist were he not created by God's love and constantly preserved by it. And he cannot live fully according to truth unless he freely acknowledges that love and devotes himself to his Creator" (n. 19). It is in this dialogue of love with God that we find the basis of each man's possibility to grow along his own lines and according to his own characteristics, which have been received as a gift and are able to "give meaning" to his personal story and to the fundamental relationships of his daily existence, as he walks along the path that leads to the fullness of life.

To consider life as a vocation encourages interior freedom, stirring within the person a desire for the future, as well as the rejection of a notion of existence that is passive, boring, and banal. In this way, life takes on the value of a "gift received which, by its nature, tends to become a good given" (Document New Vocations for a New Europe, 1997, 16, b). Man shows that he has been reborn in the Spirit (cf. John 3, 3-5) when he learns to follow the way of the New Commandment: "that you love one another as I have loved you" (John 15, 12). One could say that, in a certain sense, love is the DNA of the children of God; it is the "holy vocation" by which we have been called "in virtue of his own purpose and the grace which he gave us in Christ Jesus ages ago, and now has manifested through the appearance of our Savior Christ Jesus" (2 Tim 1, 9-10).

At the root of every vocational journey there is the Emmanuel, the God-with-us. He shows us that we are not alone in fashioning our lives, because God walks with us, in the midst of our ups-and-downs, and, if we want him to, he weaves with each of us a marvelous tale of love, unique and irreproducible, and, at the same time, in harmony with all humanity and the entire cosmos. To discover the presence of God in our individual stories, not to feel orphans any longer, but rather to know that we have a Father in whom we can trust completely - this is the great turning-point that transforms our merely human outlook and leads man to understand, as Gaudium et spes affirms, that he "cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself" (n. 24). These words of the Second Vatican Council contain the secret of Christian existence and of all authentic human self-realization.

Q. Dear Father Bannon, For the last 2 and half years I have been contemplating joining a religious order. In January of this year I went to an order for what was called a “come and see”. I have always been attractive to how the saints gave their lives and everything up for God. And when I turned 22 years of age I felt God was calling me to do the same. After the “come and see”. I decided that this was God’s will and asked them if I could join. I will now be joining in June this year.

You would think that I would now be at peace and looking forward to joining the Missionaries of Charity! But no, since returning back I have met a really lovely and special guy whom shares my love of God and wants to totally give himself to God but as a layperson. I am very confused. To be honest if you had asked me months ago what was my greatest temptation, marriage would not have ever listed in the top five!! I am becoming increasingly unsettled and I have to say am upset that just when I was deciding to go I have this now to deal with. I don’t understand what God is wanting of me? I feel guilty that I have these feelings for this guy and this is hindering my spiritual life. It’s almost as if I am wearing two hats!! Please Father can you advise me. I have prayed about this and left it in Our Lady’s hands, but I would like to have you say some guiding words. Thank you for your help. God bless you - A Daughter of Our Lady.

A. My dear friend,

What you are describing is not unusual, and perhaps one of the most natural things that can happen to us. Let’s see if I can help you with a few reflections.

To start off, God is always going to keep on making wonderful people - attractive, agreeable, good people. The man you have met is not going to be the last such person you will ever meet in your life, whether you get married or become a nun. The way we allow such people to affect us depends on the direction we have given our life, the options we have taken, the love we have committed ourselves to. When a person is married and somebody terribly interesting crosses her path, she does not immediately think it is God calling her to make a change. She knows what God wants her to do, and she doesn’t let a new person intrude on her life or the commitments she has already made before God. She continues to give herself to her husband and family and lets no-one else get close or in the way.

When God calls us to consecrated life, and when we respond it is just the same. Every attractive person we meet (and a person who is good and virtuous, seeking holiness is very attractive) is not a sign from God. If you think God is calling you to give your life to him as a consecrated religious, react in the same way as a married woman to all new acquaintances that cross your path. Consecration is becoming Christ’s bride.

Maybe what happened was you were looking at your choice as something that you were going to do in the future, not something that made a difference now, so maybe your guard was down. But now you have to make some choices, admittedly hard. You need to go back in prayer and see if all the signs are there that God is calling you to be a nun. If they are, though it will be difficult you need to break with this excellent man because you already have a Fiancé.

Be sure of my prayers. - Fr Anthony

Q. After many years of searching out peace in Catholicism, Protestantism, Buddhism ect. I am softly returning to the RC Church to rediscover my roots and humbly respond to what I hope is God's call. I am getting involved in my local church and with Catholic Charities to serve my brothers and sisters in this world. I also feel like I think I want to break down and pursue some vocational discerment activities in my archdiocese to see where God takes me in the next year or so. I've wanted to be a priest since I was a teenager. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks for your website!

A. Dear Toby,

Yes, there are some very concrete things you can start doing.

You need to get in contact with either your archbishop or the vocation director for your archdiocese. Your pastor or any priest you are in contact with will arrange that for you. You will find it very helpful to start speaking with him, and he will go over your past experiences with you in order to see what it is best for you to do right now. It is very good that you have started to help others through Catholic Charities, it is a sign that the Holy Spirit is guiding your soul; keep that up and ask the priest you speak to for guidance as regards growth in your prayer life. I recommend Mass and Communion as often as possible, even daily, regular confession, some devotion to Mary (the easiest and most helpful is the Rosary), and of course Bible reading - mostly the New Testament.

I'll remember you at Mass. Fr Anthony

Gospel Passage: Mt 15: 21-28

And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and cried, "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely possessed by a demon." But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, "Send her away, for she is crying after us." He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." But she came and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, help me." And he answered, "It is not fair to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs." She said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table." Then Jesus answered her, "O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." And her daughter was healed instantly.

1. “Have mercy on me, O Lord”

Why does God permit difficulty in our life? It is not perhaps to give us the opportunity to examine our false airs of greatness, break our pretentious pride, and turn to him? We need to brought back to reality from time to time, awoken from our slumber of indifference and self-sufficiency. God permits us to come face-to-face with challenges and difficulties to force us to face ourselves and reality, and seek the truth. Trouble brews in our life when we begin to invert reality: we live our own lives, apart from God. We want God to come to us begging for our time, our talents… We give to him the scraps, and then feel pretty good about ourselves. Difficulty is a real gift of God, when it gives us the tools to change our hearts.

This woman is an admirable example. In her desperate situation, she knows that there is no human hope for her daughter, and turns to Christ for help. Before her plight, she turns to God, recognizes the reality of who she is, who God is, and begs for help.

Conversation with Christ: Lord Jesus, this woman’s example is an invitation for me to consider my own attitude before you. She did not give into discouragement or resign herself to a defeatist attitude in her need. Rather, she turned to you in hope and confidence. Help me, Lord, to turn to you, and never seek to solve my problems alone.

2. “He did not answer her”

Christ’s heart must have been deeply moved by her plight, as we see further on when he immediately healed her daughter. But he wanted to use the opportunity to give to this woman something greater than even the life of her daughter: an increase in faith. Christ pretends to deny her, so that her desire can grown, her petition become more ardent, and her faith purified. Why doesn’t Christ give me the answers I request right away? Is it maybe because he wants me to grow in faith, and reassess how much I really value and want what I am requesting?

One of the greatest obstacles to prayer is lack of faith, which is less a declared incredulity, than a lack of conviction that God is really listening, or a real desire to obtain what I request. Do I really want what I request from God? Am I ready to live with the consequences?

Conversation with Christ: Lord Jesus, increase my faith. Help me have that hopeful persistence in seeking you out. How often I come to pray, and do not really mean what I say. How often, my Lord, I say the words, but really do not grasp what they signify. Help me, Lord Jesus, to pray from my heart.

3. “Her daughter was healed instantly”

Why didn’t Christ heal the girl immediately, but only after such a long and seemingly troublesome interchange with the mother? We see between the lines that there is more to prayer than my requesting and God granting. There is the conversion and purification of the heart. There is test of intentions. There is probing of the soul. Do I really mean what I say? Am I ready to do anything and everything to obtain what I request for in prayer? Or do I pray so that Christ can satisfy my pride, my vanity, my comfort? The infinite and efficacious power of Christ the Lord is tapped only when there is humble prayer, full of confidence, detachment and humility.

QUESTIONNAIRE

To help you to examine your life, in the light of the inspirations God just gave you in these moments you shared with him.

1. How persistent am I in prayer? Am I convinced of what I say to the Lord?

2. Do difficulties cause me to be more emphatic in the exercise of my faith, or do I lose heart? Do I give up on God, or do I give up on my pride and self-sufficiency? Whom do I opt for: God or self?

3. When I request things from God, am I really ready and willing to accept the consequences? Do I really want to know God’s will for me? Do I have an unspoken and an unformulated condition that I want it as along as it does not discomfort me too much? Do I ever pray trying only to fulfill the external obligation, but not really intending to surrender myself and my ways to the Lord?

It seems terrible to me that someone could appear before God and offer Him as the product of 80 years of life, what he could have perhaps produced in only 20 or 40. What explanation will he give? How did he spend those other years? Scurrying through life like the driven clouds across the sky on a stormy day; or worse still, idling and aimless, seeking only to satisfy his appetites? I consider this a very grave sin, especially for a Christian, who, by virtue of his baptism, is seriously committed to collaborate in building up and spreading the Kingdom of Christ on earth. Therefore, I recommend that each time you go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, you examine your conscience on this point and ask God to forgive you if you find that you have wasted some of your time through laziness, indolence or any other reason for which you are to blame.

The parable of the talents also shows us that the connection between present and future life is not the connection between a path and the summit to which it leads. It is immediately, almost intuitively clear that earthly life leads to eternity - at least to those who do not let themselves be blinded by some immanentist-materialist ideology. But in addition to this, there is a proportion between the way in which we administer our present life and the happiness or unhappiness of our future life. Moreover, the degree of happiness which we will attain in eternity will be proportional to the way in which we have behaved in this world. This means that the reward we receive in the next life will depend on the way in which we have used our time.

I wake to the crowing of a distant rooster. Surprisingly, I am well rested and comfortable. We have slept on concrete floors now for five nights. The dust from the concrete fills my nose and throat and gives me a headache. We're high in the Sierra Madre Mountains of Mexico, somewhere between Vera Cruz and Puebla, near a town called Zacapoaxtla, working with hundreds of young missionaries from several countries. It's 5:30 and I have time to say my rosary before Fr. Juan Guerra LC of Everest Academy starts to stir.

As we get up, I check my boots for unwanted spiders or scorpions. I haven't seen any scorpions yet, but I'm not inclined to take chances. Father and I walk down the lane to the restroom. It's a shack patched onto the back of a house that looks more like a sheep stable than a home. The water is gravity fed and the ancient man who lives there breaks up twigs to stoke the fire that heats the water for our showers. I wait outside while Father goes first. I can see clouds below us as I gaze down the mountain slopes. I've never looked down on clouds before, except from an airplane. I grasp a nearby tree.

Before long we are on the road to visit a group of ten missionaries at a town thirty minutes to the north. We have breakfast here, and Father gives spiritual direction to a couple of the missionaries from Michigan, and then strategizes with the group leader. They schedule masses, Stations of the Cross, confessions, and catechism classes.

Fr. Juan has arranged to take more than twenty young men from the Great Lakes region to the annual Mega-mission run by the Legionaries of Christ. Here we work with people of profound poverty and infectious joy. Most are Spanish-speaking indigenous Mexicans. In one town over the mountains to the north of us, where there has been less Spanish influence and intermarrying, most of the Indians speak only Nahuatl, a language common to the region. The missionaries in this town have been here before - seven years ago. They have devised a one-page, three-language dictionary consisting of key evangelizing and practical terms in Nahuatl, Spanish, and English. They can see the effects of the Protestant groups that have been very active in the region.

Several of the missionaries in our group are graduates of Everest Academy in Clarkston, MI. These young men, aged 15 to about 22, have given up ten days of their Easter break, are enduring challenging physical and cultural difficulties, and have paid several hundred dollars each to work as missionaries in Mexico. We are scattered in villages as far as six hours away from one another, grouped with Mexican missionaries to facilitate communication with the townsfolk.

During the course of this day we will visit five more groups like these. Father will hear confessions for hours on end, have a quick drink and bite to eat, then move on to the next town. I'm his driver, but only when he gets too tired and has to rely on me. As a Canadian, I am a fast driver, but I'm no match for a Mexican - too passive by half.

We come to a town where there are no missionaries, but the people have faith; they are building a new church. Father teaches me to say "El padre ya llego. Va a confessar." It's something about the priest being here and you'd better get yourself to confession. I have to write it down because I can't remember it. It's an effort for Father to be patient with me. He points out that I am of limited use without fluency in Spanish. I'm already well aware of it. He tells me to go around the village, knock on doors, and send as many people to confession as I can.

The first place I come to has walls of corn stalks lashed together and a roof of corrugated tin and sections of plastic tarp. I walk all around it but I can't find a door to knock on. I look around for a house with a door. Later I come back to this one, when I have more experience.

The women of the town are happy to see me and do more than their part to facilitate communication. The men mostly laugh. It might be the crisp new red bandana they have given me to wear as a sort of missionary uniform. I am keenly aware that I have not seen a single Mexican wearing a bandana since I came to this country five days ago. If Mexicans themselves don't wear bandanas, then I have a lot of re-thinking to do. I take the bandana off and try to wrinkle it up some to give it a more weathered look. I use it to wipe the sweat off my neck and forehead. Now it looks like a wrinkled, wet, new bandana. The men still laugh, but I decide that I can accept the laughter - just don't put me in a big black cauldron of hot water and start dicing in carrots and onions. This is where I'll draw the line.

In the end, Father hears confessions for about an hour and a half, and I recognize some of the people as those whom I met at their homes. Some of the men who laughed ended up at confession after all, smiling, pleasant. I feel like I've helped.

A woman from this town comes with us in the car when we leave. She wants Father to see her mother-in-law who has been confined to her house for a long time. We go as far as the car can go on the rocky trail, then get out and walk the remaining two hundred yards to the shack. It's very primitive: dirt floor, cornstalk walls patched together with bits of cardboard, rocks and logs on top of the roof holding the corrugated tin in place. I stand outside with the husband, wife, and their son while Father hears the mother's confession. The boy plays with a discarded syringe as an American boy would play with a squirt gun. He squirts his dad on the backside as he bends down to pull a weed, and his mom takes the syringe away from him. The old woman is finished with her confession and Father calls me in to hold his kit of holy oil while he administers the sacrament of the sick. We carry the Blessed Sacrament with us, so he is also able to give her communion. Because of her illness, this may be the first time in several years that she has received communion. She is shaking and obviously in poor health. It is likely that this is the last time this woman will see a priest. You can see in her eyes how much this visit has meant to her.

I am overwhelmed at the difference between myself as a sincere layman and this missionary priest. What he can give to this woman by virtue of his priesthood is a world apart form what I could ever do for her. His priestly ministry, exercised in the stark simplicity of this peasant home, with nothing to distract or enhance, dissolves in my mind all concerns of scandals and news reports back home. Here I know for sure the nature of priesthood. Here I see with my own eyes how only a man who gives himself fully to God alone could exercise this wonderful vocation to its full potential. Here I see most poignantly that Christ gives us himself in the sacraments of the Church. What Father Juan brings to these people is nothing less than Christ himself - and they know it with all their hearts.

Father and I talk about these things as he drives to the next town. He confides that he loves these moments. It clearly invigorates him and drives him forward. The car moves faster as he talks about it. It's Holy Thursday, and he is eager to get to the town of San Francisco where he will celebrate the Mass of the Last Supper. The missionaries, including three from Michigan, have the townsfolk gathered in the church waiting for us. Father celebrates mass after hearing a couple of hours of confessions. All goes off without a hitch.

I am impressed by the formation of the young men. They have all the elements of the integral formation that we espouse at Everest. They are intellectually prepared to teach the catechism, and they can communicate with the local people with varying competence. They have learned to be organized and work as part of a team, to apply themselves to the task at hand despite their working conditions. They have the personal relationship with Christ that animates their work. And above all this, they have apostolic zeal - a desire to share Christ with others.

And so on this Holy Thursday night, the night that Christ instituted the priesthood, with stops in other towns and more groups of missionaries and more confessions and another mass, we work our way from group to group. We stop just after 11 p.m. at a villa that has been donated to our group for the week. There are about twenty missionaries staying here. Father and I are both exhausted. He speaks to the leader of this group. In a few minutes he's back in the car and we head back to the same place where we woke up this morning. We get there close to midnight, and Father chats with the missionaries, encouraging them, as I unload the car and get our sleeping bags rolled out on the concrete. I'll sleep well again tonight.

By Paul Flynn

Upcoming Events & Retreats

(( Listed here are retreats directed by the Legionaries of Christ and Regnum Christi members. For a listing of diocesan activities and other events, click here to go to the vocation.com website ))

LEGIONARIES OF CHRIST

Detroit, May 24-26, Spiritual Exercises for men 17 to 27. Contact Fr Ned Brown, (203) 631-7782. nbrown@legionaries.org

Atlanta, GA, June 6-17, "Come and See" Program. Contact Fr Patrick Murphy, (678) 428-6348. pmurphy@legionaries.org

Los Angeles, CA, June 6-17, "Come and See" Program. Contact Fr Thomas Maher, (509) 780-8130. tmaher@legionaries.org

Cheshire, CT, June 6-17, "Come and See" Program. Contact Br Shane Johnson, (800) 420-5409. vocation@legionaries.org

Edgerton, WI, June 6-17, "Come and See" Program. Contact Br Chad Wahl, (608) 884-8856. cwahl@legionaries.org

REGNUM CHRISTI consecrated women

Greenville, RI, May 23-30. "Open Your Doors" retreat for women ages 17-30. Contact Malise Lagarde, (401) 378-3201. mlagarde@inteducators.org

Los Angeles, June 1-15. "Open Your Doors" retreat for women ages 17-30. Contact Magdalena Faine, (562) 400-3362. mfaine@inteducators.org

Syracuse, NY, June 1. Half-day retreat for women ages 17-30. Contact Laura Mayers, (914) 522-5506. lmayers@inteducators.org

Ottawa, June 16. Half-day retreat for women ages 17-30. Contact Lourdes Cano, (612) 205-7566. lcano@inteducators.org

REGNUM CHRISTI consecrated men

Call Tony McDonnell for more information, (301) 365-3205. info@ytm.org

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