Year IV, Number 25

When you were little, were you sometimes afraid of the dark? Today you are no longer children afraid of the dark. You are teenagers and young adults. But already you realize that there is another kind of darkness in the world: the darkness of doubt and uncertainty. You may feel the darkness of loneliness and isolation. Your anxieties may come from questions about your future, or regrets about past choices.

Sometimes the world itself seems filled with darkness. The darkness of children who go hungry and even die. The darkness of homeless people who lack work and proper medical care. The darkness of violence: violence against the unborn child, violence in families, the violence of gangs, the violence of sexual abuse, the violence of drugs that destroy the body, mind and heart. There is something terribly wrong when so many young people are overcome by hopelessness to the point of taking their own lives. And already in parts of this nation, laws have been passed which allow doctors to end the lives of the very people they are sworn to help. God’s gift of life is being rejected. Death is chosen over life, and this brings with it the darkness of despair.

But you believe in the light (cf. Jn 12:36)! Do not listen to those who encourage you to lie, to shirk responsibility, to put yourselves first. Do not listen to those who tell you that chastity is passé. In your hearts you know that true love is a gift from God and respects his plan for the union of man and woman in marriage. Do not be taken in by false values and deceptive slogans, especially about your freedom. True freedom is a wonderful gift from God, and it has been a cherished part of your country’s history. But when freedom is separated from truth, individuals lose their moral direction and the very fabric of society begins to unravel.

Freedom is not the ability to do anything we want, whenever we want. Rather, freedom is the ability to live responsibly the truth of our relationship with God and with one another. Remember what Jesus said: “you will know the truth and the truth will set you free” (Jn 8:32). Let no one mislead you or prevent you from seeing what really matters. Turn to Jesus, listen to him, and discover the true meaning and direction of your lives.

Q. Dear Fr Anthony,

My name is Fred, and I live in Pennsylvania. I am 21 years of age and have always thought of becoming a priest. I met with my vocations director here in the diocese, but I thought I would contact other priests just to get some opinions. I was just wondering how you know it is time to become a priest or how you know you want to be a priest. I have thought about it a lot and came very close last year to joining our seminary, but I changed my mind at the last second. I do not know if that was the sign to not pursue this or if I was just nervous. I always come back to priesthood, though, and I cannot stop thinking about it. I do not know if this means that I want to be a priest or not. I am confused about what God wants and was hoping for an opinion you may have on this matter.

Thank you in advance for any help you can give.

- Fred

A. Dear Fred,

It seems you have “the vocation bug”. The fact that your thoughts about the vocation keep coming back could very well mean something. I think a good deal of the confusion you feel may be due to an incomplete understanding of what a vocation is, so let me give you some pointers here.

One: a vocation is a call from God. We can’t make it, no one else can give us one, and it can only come from him. The main question to be asked and answered when thoughts of the priesthood come into our mind is this: does God want me to be a priest? Is he calling me?

Two: if God calls us, then we have to answer something - basically either “yes” or “no”. This is where my “wanting” the vocation comes in. My “wanting” it or “being interested in it” does not make the vocation, but my wanting has to come into the picture, and this is where it comes in: “Which do I want to say to God, yes or no, if he is calling me?” But that seems to beg the question, “How can you say yes or no if you are not sure he is in fact calling you?”

Three: there are some signs that are necessary for a vocation, and it will help to look and see if they are present in your life. But to go beyond the signs and actually discover if you have a vocation, you need something else besides signs: you have to be “on good terms with God”, you have to “speak his language”.

Let us look at the signs: you must have health enough for the vocation. This includes physical health (the minimum will vary according to different vocations), psychological health (free from major scars, neuroses, dependencies, for example - you are going to guide others so your own house has to be in order), and spiritual health (belief in the Church, practice of the sacraments, giving prayer a place in your life, etc...). You must also have the human maturity that corresponds to your age and be able to take on commitments and function stably in your present responsibilities; there must be a core to you that is not overly influenced by others so that you live by principles rather than by others’ opinions. And your motives for considering the vocation must come from your faith, and not from human convenience or gain.

What is God’s language? Love. You can only get in a position to figure out if God is calling you if you love him, if you are struggling (though you might fall at times) to grow in your life of grace, doing good, avoiding sin, serving others, and giving God time in prayer. And I think you can only open your soul to the vocation if you love people, and love them enough to give your life to serve them.

Four: “abstract” vocations don’t exist. God calls you to something specific, either diocesan priesthood or some specific religious order. When you meet the place God wants you to be, you usually have two contrary reactions: one, a sort of “click”, recognition: “Yes, I fit; if I were to be a priest, this is the type of priest I would want to be.” And simultaneously I think there must be some fear, a recognition that “This is not going to be easy; I’m going to have to give a lot, grow a lot, put myself in second place...”

So, what do I suggest you do now? See if you have the initial signs. Then pray, saying to God: “Maybe it’s you who is putting these thoughts in my mind, inviting me. Help me to be generous enough if it is you, because you know there are lots of other things I would like to do as well.” Then look. Visit seminaries. Don’t go on a wild spree; just start by visiting the ones you know, do a retreat with them, and see if that “click” happens. At this point you will definitely need some outside help: you need to open yourself to the men who run that seminary or order where you have clicked so that they can evaluate and give you their read on your situation vis-à-vis joining their group.

You may think I have avoided the part of your question that asks how you know it is time to become a priest. I haven’t; you simply cannot know before you do all the above. If you have the general signs, find the right place, are accepted (or at least encouraged), and there are no substantial reasons to wait, it means, “Now’s the time.”

Fred, I’ll keep you in my prayers. God bless.

- Fr Anthony

Q. Dear Fr Anthony,

What I was wondering was if God has a specific vocation for you when you are born, does that vocation never change no matter what life you lead? What I’m trying to say is: throughout your life, is your vocation always the same, or does it change as you make different choices through life? Or, on the other hand, can you have two and God gives you a choice between a good one and a better one? Thank you.

- Ann

A. Dear Ann,

Your question is very speculative, but there are things that God tells us in scripture that can help us to answer it.

I guess the best place to start is by asking ourselves again what “vocation” means. “Before you were conceived in your mother’s womb I set you aside.” What God tells us is that he had something in mind for us when he gave us the gift of life, or rather even from before he gave us the gift. Something he wants us to be, and something he wants us to do. This is God’s plan.

Now, vocation means “call”. This means that as we grow up and develop, and especially as we approach the age where major choices are made in our life, God makes his plan for us felt as a call. God would like me to be a priest, so he calls me to be a priest. He would like someone else to be a missionary, so he calls. In prayer, in one’s personal experience, in the circumstances of life as they develop around us, in the needs of those we see…, in all of these a person discovers in his soul God’s voice inviting, calling him to be and do something specific. God doesn’t appear to us, but he calls us through these secondary signs. It is he who is there behind them, nevertheless.

Does our vocation change? If our vocation is God’s original plan for our lives then no, it doesn’t change. What can change? My understanding of the vocation can. I can join a religious order because God seems to be calling me, but a year or two down the line he might through various signs (not my feelings alone) show me his real plan is something else. Many young men who join the seminary thought for many years that they were called to marriage, and lived good lives and went to college, until one day they finally saw and accepted that God was really pointing somewhere else...

Now, what happens if you have a vocation, let’s say to religious life, you’re pretty sure, but for whatever reason you choose something else - not something bad, but a good Catholic marriage with a good man? It won’t be what God originally planned - there is no way of changing that - but he is merciful, not vengeful. As long as you do not close your heart to him he will give you in the Sacrament of Matrimony all the graces you need to live it well and live up to what God wants from married Christians. He is merciful and wants us to be saved, and even after our worst faults, as long as we turn to him, he forgives us and raises us up and makes us capable of doing good things in his grace.

In that sense, perhaps you could talk about a “second vocation”. The first one will always be in God’s mind as his original plan, but when we go elsewhere he is always there, calling us to holiness, and to our real home, heaven. Just remember that following Christ in the “first” or in the “second” vocation will always mean entering the narrow gate, so you can’t talk about an “easier” vocation.

Hope I haven’t confused you. God bless.

- Fr Anthony

If you lead holy lives, everyone will see in you the living image of God and this materialistic and cold world will once again turn its eyes and direct all its actions to the glory of its Creator. If you lead holy lives, our Church will fulfill the mission to which Divine Providence has called it. You will sow charity and banish hatred; you will sow humility and banish pride; you will sow purity and banish impurity; you will sow obedience and banish the spirit of rebellion; you will sow peace and its fruits in the world. Through this holy life you will build Christ’s Kingdom on earth.

The holiness of your lives is not only about your eternal salvation and the consolation you can personally give Jesus; it is also about the example, the living model you must give to future generations of apostles. So if your heart is big and broad and deep; if it is full of generous dispositions like Christ’s; if it is able to forget itself in order to give itself generously to others; if it loves self-denial and sacrifice; if in utmost humility it looks only for the glory of God and the good of others; if it is able to forgive and forget injuries, praying for those who persecute and calumniate it, and return good for evil; if, loving its own misery, it only looks for humiliation so as to be more like Christ; if it is able to obey up to the point of heroism and up to death on the cross; if it is able to prefer the lowest places, working in obscurity and silence without desiring a single word of praise or wanting to show off; if it is able to be crushed like a grain of wheat to become a host in the martyrdom of ordinary life, at times so drab and monotonous; if it is able to live in the unstained whiteness of snow, then you will leave a radiant mark behind you and do your part to make the Institute great by the holiness of the lives that make it up. You must blaze the trail, you must be transformed into Christ so that the others may also be transformed. Each of you must contribute to developing and perfecting our Church in the measure of your ability, but specifically with your own work.

from Letter 37

Esa vida santa hará que todos vean en vosotros la imagen viva de Dios y que este mundo materialista y frío vuelva a poner la mirada y dirija todos sus actos para glorificación de su Creador. Esta vida santa hará que vuestro Instituto llene la misión a que está llamado por la Divina Providencia, esta vida santa sembrará la caridad desterrando el odio, sembrará la humildad desterrando el odio, sembrará la pureza desterrando la inmundicia, sembrará la obediencia desterrando el espíritu de insubordinación, sembrará la paz y sus frutos en el mundo. Esta vida santa será el medio por el que se establezca el Reinado de Jesucristo en la tierra.

La santidad de vuestra vida no sólo tiene el sentido de vuestra salvación eterna y el consuelo que podáis dar personalmente a Jesús, sino el sentido del ejemplo, del modelo vivo que tenéis que presentar a las futuras generaciones de Cordijesuítas. Por eso si vuestro corazón es grande, ancho profundo, si como el de Jesús esta lleno de todos los sentimientos generosos, si es capaz de olvidarse de sí para prodigarse a los demás; si ama la mortificación y el sacrificio; si lleno de lleno de humildad sólo busca la glorificación de Dios y el bien de los hombres; si sabe perdonar y olvidar las injurias orando por los que le persiguen y calumnian y devolviendo bien por mal, si enamorado de su propia miseria sólo busca y quiere su propia humillación para parecerse más a Jesucristo; si sabe obedecer hasta el heroísmo y hasta la "muerte de cruz"; si sabe preferir los últimos lugares y trabajar en la obscuridad y en el silencio sin querer recibir una sola palabra de alabanza, ni querer jamás aparecer; si sabe triturarse como el grano de trigo para hacerse hostia en el martirio de la vida ordinaria, a veces tan monótona y tan gris; si sabe vivir envuelto en la blancura sin mancha de la nieve, dejaréis una huella luminosa y pondréis lo que debéis de poner para que el Instituto sea grande por la santidad de vida de los que lo integren. Vosotros tenéis que abrir brecha, tenéis que transformaros en Jesucristo para lograr que los demás se transformen. Cada cual tiene que contribuir al desarrollo y perfeccionamiento del Instituto, a la medida de sus fuerzas pero precisamente con su propio trabajo.

Gospel: Jn 12:20-33

Now among those who went up to worship at the feast were some Greeks. So these came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; Andrew went with Philip and they told Jesus. And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If any one serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant be also; if any one serves me, the Father will honor him. “Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify thy name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” The crowd standing by heard it and said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. Now is the judgment of this world, now shall the ruler of this world be cast out; and I, when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all men to myself.” He said this to show by what death he was to die.

Introductory Prayer: Lord Jesus, teach me to follow your example of love, of your self-giving, embracing the cross of my own self-surrender. Grant me the faith and courage to die to myself so that in the furrow of life there may sprout forth new life of your grace. Bless my surrender, united to yours with fruits of the eternal life for souls that you have entrusted to me.

Petition: Lord, enlighten my mind to grasp the mean of your words recorded in Scripture: “unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit”. Inflame my heart with a love that is willing to surrender my entire life to do your will so that my life may bear all the fruit you want from it.

1. “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.”

Do I want to see Jesus? Do I have in my heart at least the same determination and interest as the Greeks mentioned in this Scriptural passage to pursue and persevere in seeking out Jesus until they found him? Our Lord is anxious for us to have this disposition in order that he might tell us the most intimate and important truths about himself.

Lord, help me always to seek you and to accept you as you are and as you revealed yourself to me in Scripture and in my daily encounters I have with you. Let me always be convinced that you are nearest to me when I suffer in my surrender of my will out of love for you and for souls. Help me to know that in suffering, when united to your suffering on the cross, I am imitating you in your heroic surrender of your life for the salvation of souls.

2. “When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all men to myself.”

Do you think the Greeks accepted Jesus’ self-description? “‘Now is the judgment of this world, now shall the ruler of this world be cast out; and I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.’ He said this to show by what death he was to die.” By being obedient unto the cross and his crucifixion, he would glorify the Father, completing His plan of salvation and striking the death blow to the ruler of this world, Satan. It would be a triumphant blow that would break definitively Satan’s power of evil. Jesus knew that if he went to the cross, the sight of his upraised and crucified figure would in the end draw all men unto him. Jesus was announcing the battle to come and was looking for a conquest where he would conquer and subdue the hearts of men forever and for all generations, only by showing himself to them on the cross.

The truth of his self surrender on the cross is the hardest lesson for every true Christian and follower of Christ to heed because of the condition of our weak and fallen human nature and because our triple concupiscence that has us avoid even the mention or glimpse of such a reality. But this truth is readily confirmed by the Father’s own divine words. “Then a voice came from heaven, ‘I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.’” How it must have gladdened the hearts of the Greeks when Jesus revealed himself in terms of glorification! But how it must have sunk them into confusion and disbelief when they realized that this glorification was in reference to his upcoming crucifixion!

Lord, you teach me in Scripture about yourself and how you would glorify the Father in your self-sacrificing love you have for all men and even for me. You did not flee from suffering but endured all of this for our salvation. Grant me the grace and courage to fulfill your desire noted in scripture: “Learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart” (Matthew 11:29). “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in his steps” (1 Peter 2:21). Lord, help me to follow your example of humility, obedience and suffering, offering everything to God the Father for the salvation of souls.

3. “Where I am, there shall my servant be also. “

Let us accept our Lord’s doctrine of the cross: “This voice has come for your sake, not for mine.” Our Lord will prove himself strong enough in His love to endure the cross, but he powerfully manifests his Father’s approval here to secure us in our thoughts and to strengthen our resolution of will so that we too embrace this difficult and arduous way of the cross that is plotted out for us for our salvation.

Our Lord confirmed three truths in his doctrine of the cross: 1) Only by death comes life. 2) Only by spending life does do we retain it. 3) Only by service comes greatness. Am I able to accept these truths? Am I prepared to live my life by them? “Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men” (1 Cor 1:20-25).

Our Lord makes things clear that to accept him is to accept the cross of self-surrender in our life. “Where I am, there shall my servant be also.” We are not to escape even its shadow if we really want to consider ourselves to be his true followers.

Lord Jesus, teach me to despise this life if it jeopardizes my eternal life or the eternal life of my fellow men. Grant me the grace to follow you in the most intimate moment of your self-surrender on the cross so I may learn to live centered on you and on the mission you entrust to me. In those bitter and difficult moments of my self-surrender, never let me lose my trust in you, but rather remember and be consoled by your words, “Where I am, there shall my servant be also.” I am but your servant, Lord, and therefore my one prerogative of following you, my master, is to carry my cross and die to myself and to my self-love. Never let me forget that this is the way to life eternal with you, the source and fountain of true, authentic love.

Questionnaire:

1. What is my greatest desire? Is it to seek Jesus? Do I have true apostles around me who lead and bring me to encounter the real Jesus who lovingly surrenders and embraces the cross and death? Or is my search for Jesus hindered by my search for an easy life or my search for mere consolations, fickle things that spark my curiosity?

2. Am I willing to live the three truths of the doctrine of the cross (only by death comes life; only by spending life does do we retain it; only by service comes greatness)? Does Christ dying on a cross discourage me from carrying mine or motivate me to imitate him?

3. In what ways have I noticed in this meditation that how sometimes I avoid the cross and even its shadows? How can I practice more sacrifice in my life to offer up graces for the salvation of souls and to know and identify with the mission God has given me?

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5)

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, just as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before him in love. He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will...” (Ephesians 1:3-5).

It is worth your while reading over those passages again, letting them sink in. They are God’s words and are capable of ushering us into a whole new dimension of thinking and of living. They pluck us out of our earth-bound thinking and free us to enter into the life and dimensions and thought patterns of faith. These could be truly revolutionary words for you, they could turn your world upside down, and they could mark a radical change in your life - once they are accepted in faith.

Let us go back over them to see what they say. But first, let us spare a thought for who is saying them. The words from Jeremiah’s book are God’s. Jeremiah is telling us what God told him when he gave him his calling. So they are words to be taken seriously; they are the real scoop, the source is completely reliable. No guesswork involved. Solid gold. Not to be easily dismissed.

Jeremiah was like so many of us, with his nose stuck in the dust, busy with his own everyday problems, worried about where the next meal was coming from. Then God just burst in on his life.

Upcoming Events & Retreats

(( Listed here are retreats directed by the Legionaries of Christ and Regnum Christi members. For a listing of diocesan activities and other events, click here to go to the vocation.com website ))

LEGIONARIES OF CHRIST

Cheshire, CT, June 27-29, 2003, Test Your Call Retreat. Ages 16-30. Contact Br Branigan Sherman at vocation@legionaries.org or at (800) 420-5409. Price: none.

Cornwall, ONT, June 27-29, 2003, Test Your Call Retreat. Ages 16-30. Contact Fr William Slattery at wslattery@legionaries.org or at (613) 931-1920. Price: none.

REGNUM CHRISTI consecrated women

Washington DC, July 1, 2003, Young Women's Spiritual Growth Retreat. Ages 17-30. Contact Lucy Honnor at lhonnor@inteducators.org or (301) 536-6931.

REGNUM CHRISTI consecrated men

Call Tony McDonnell for more information, (301) 365-3205. amacdonnell@arcol.org.

ShoreLines welcomes your questions and comments at questions@shorelines.org. If you do not specify otherwise, your question may be posted in the Vocations Q&A section.

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