Year IV, Number 51

Everyone must feel personally involved in this far-reaching missionary and vocational activity. However, in the first place, it is the task of priests to work for vocations by living joyfully the great gift and mystery that God has planted in them, so as to "generate" new and holy vocations.

The pastoral care of vocations should be a priority for parishes, that are called to be schools of holiness and prayer, training grounds for charity and service to the brothers and sisters, and especially for families, who, as vital cells, make up the parish community. When there is love between spouses, the children grow up morally healthy and vocations to the priesthood and the consecrated life take root more easily.

Q. Dear Fr Anthony,

I have been discerning a call to religious life for several years now. Now I really think and feel that religious life is the way for me to go. I thought everything was going fine; I was happy living celibacy and thinking that there would be no problems in me joining. But then yesterday I fell. After my group's social, I ended up kissing a girl I had a crush on. We had kissed last year, but this year, I was even more sure of my vocation. So now I am really hurt and confused that I acted in such a way. Do you have suggestions?

- Josh

A. Dear Josh,

Well, if you didn't know it before, you certainly do know for sure now that girls are attractive, and you find some to be especially so. You also see that, despite our decisions and resolutions, we are almost defenseless against this attraction if we foster it and put ourselves in certain situations.

What is my suggestion? You are hurt and confused not because you think it was wrong in itself to kiss a girl but rather because it went against your decision for the priesthood. You kissed her because you have a crush on her, which is her effect on you due to a combination of factors that are both external and having to do with your personalities and values, and... you have thought about her. To be a celibate priest you have to put something, someone else at the center of your thoughts and life.

You can't do this on your own; it is a grace that you have to ask for and then to protect. Prayer. But don't pray for God to take away the natural attraction (that is the easy solution we are more inclined to ask for) - he probably won't. Pray that he place something else alongside it in your heart and soul - love for him and for souls, which you will cultivate with his help and make grow stronger than anything else that pulls at your heart now or later. And then pray for his grace and help to be strong enough to protect your love and option for him - that you will be strong enough to forgo occasions that will put it at risk, that you will dedicate your time to doing things that will build his Kingdom, that you will be faithful to his love and your conscience when occasions arise where it would be easy to compromise.

It seems to me God is gently pushing you to a more mature option for your vocation. It is easy to be enthusiastic for a vocation when we are fervent and haven't yet seen its difficulty. As we wake up to its very real costs, they force us to be realistic, and our love has to become more real and mature if we are not going to walk away from it. The outcome, believe it or not, is not less enthusiasm but more, not drudgery but more freedom in the way we give ourselves.

God bless.

- Fr Anthony.

Q. Dear Fr Anthony,

Let me apologize from the start about the length of this question! I am about to graduate from college this December, and that has thrown my whole life into chaos because I have absolutely no idea what career/life path I want to follow, and I am very indecisive, always afraid to make the wrong decision. I have looked into law school and received exceptional scores on my LSAT (Law School Entrance Exam). As a dedicated Catholic for all of my 21 years, I have occasionally wondered whether or not I should be a nun, but always dismissed the idea because I really didn't want to do it. A few weeks ago at Mass, the priest's homily focused on God's calling for each person. He said that you will know what God wants you to do because it will be the thing that you resist and usually don't want to do. I immediately related this to my dismissal of being a nun. Ever since then I have been completely fearing that God is calling me to be a nun, even to the point that the thought if going to church stresses me out. Add to that the stress of finishing my last semester of college! I actually had a panic attack today when I was trying to figure out if I have a calling to the convent. I finally spoke about my concerns with a close friend, who is also a Catholic, and while talking with her I realized a few things about myself. I have never had a boyfriend or any close relationship with any guy. Basically I am scared to death of intimacy, physical and emotional. And, because of the strict sheltered way I was raised, I feel guilt and shame when dancing with a guy at a club or even thinking about getting close to a guy. To try and sum up, I don't know if my thoughts about being a nun are coming from God's calling or because it would be an easy out for me, allowing me to not have to make any decisions about my life and to basically never face my fear of men.

- Mary

A. Dear Mary,

You have some pretty important things still to sort through before making any major decisions as regards your vocation and your future.

You were raised in a sheltered way, and that has the advantage of having protected you from many dangers, which should not be underestimated. Now, however, you are facing some of the limitations of your upbringing. It is not a question of dwelling on the past and seeing if there was something wrong with the way you were raised (and, by the way, no parents are absolutely perfect), but of stepping forward without losing all you received in the past and dealing with the next stage of your life using the good fruits of your particular past.

I don't dare say more in this context than to encourage you to find a spiritual director, since as you can see yourself there are several issues at play, and it will take a little time and patience to sort them out well.

God bless.

- Fr Anthony

Gospel: Lk 2, 1-20

Now it happened that at this time Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be made of the whole inhabited world. This census - the first - took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria, and everyone went to be registered, each to his own town. So Joseph set out to the town of Nazareth in Galilee for Judea, to David's town called Bethlehem, since he was of David's House and line, in order to be registered together with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. Now it happened that, while they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to a son, her first-born. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the living-space.

In the countryside close by there were shepherds out in the fields keeping guard over their sheep during the watches of the night. An angel of the Lord stood over them and the glory of the Lord shone round them. They were terrified, but the angel said, "Do not be afraid. Look, I bring you news of great joy, a joy to be shared by the whole people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. And here is a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." And all at once with the angel there was a great throng of the hosts of heaven, praising God with the words:

"Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace for those he favors."

Now it happened that when the angel had gone from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another: "Let us go to Bethlehem and see this event which the Lord has made known to us." So they hurried away and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. When they saw the child they repeated what they had been told about him, and everyone who heard it was astonished at what the shepherds said to them. As for Mary, she treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds went back glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, just as they had been told.

Introductory Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for coming into this world. Increase in me an awe and amazement that you would stoop so low so as to become one like us, taking the form of a newborn child. Fill me with the joy of your birth this Christmas so that I may grow in my love for you, you who are my Lord and my God.

Petition: Lord, fill my heart with a great love for you; may be so filled with enthusiasm at your birth that I share it with others.

1. "Now it happened that, while they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to a son, her first-born. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the living-space."

Christ chooses to come down from heaven, "born of a woman, born a subject of the Law, to redeem the subjects of the Law, so that we could receive adoption as sons" (Galatians 4:4).

Christ hides his divinity in the manger, seeming almost too human. God the Son, made man for us, is born without fanfare, without pomp and circumstance, in a small stable perhaps amidst an ox and sheep.

Yet this moment is not a moment limited to a Nativity scene or a crèche. "The whole of human history in fact stands in reference to him: our own time and the future of the world are illumined by his presence. He is 'the Living One' (Revelation 1:18), 'who is, who was and who is to come' (Revelation 1:4). Before him every knee must bend in the heavens, on earth and under the earth, and every tongue proclaim that he is Lord (see Philippians 2:10-11).

In the encounter with Christ, every man discovers the mystery of his own life" (Pope John Paul II, Incarnationis Mysterium, 1).

2. "Do not be afraid. Look, I bring you news of great joy."

God has not forgotten us. God has come down to redeem us. This is a moment of promise, the moment the world has awaited since Creation. "The mystery of the Incarnation constitutes the superabundant fulfillment of the promise made by God to man after original sin, after that first sin whose effects oppress the whole earthly history of man" (Pope John Paul II, Redemptoris Mater, 10).

The words of the angel invite us to come to the manger. We cannot share in this moment if we do not share in the Incarnation. This news is what we have been waiting for to give purpose to our lives. This moment is the moment that we have been waiting for, and now it is here. The words of the angel bring us to share in the birth of Christ, to learn the good that comes from the stable. The Father sent his Son into the world, "so that the world might be saved through him" (John 3:17).

3. "When they saw the child they repeated what they had been told about him, and everyone who heard it was astonished at what the shepherds said to them."

In the fullness of time he comes down from heaven. "This fullness marks the moment when, with the entrance of the eternal into time, time itself is redeemed, and being filled with the mystery of Christ becomes definitely 'salvation time'" (Pope John Paul II, Redemptoris Mater, 1).

Sharing in the wonder of the moment is not to be lost or become a memory. Christ comes into the world to save us, so that after coming to the manger, we may share what we have received with others.

He reveals his love; he reveals that he is love. "God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God, and God in him" (1 John 4:16).

The shepherds leave the manger having experienced the love of God. They have been touched by the love of God - a love that is not to be kept to oneself, but shared with all. The Incarnation gives us life: it is the base upon which we live.

Conversation:

Lord Jesus, I see you in the manger, a helpless child, yet the means of our salvation. You have come to redeem me, to bring me life - you, a helpless little child. Help me to understand that I cannot live without you, you who are Love.

Questionnaire:

1. What does the birth of my Lord mean to me other than a holiday or a celebration? What does the Nativity inspire me to do?

2. How often and in which way do I thank my Lord for having come down from heaven in the form of an innocent child? When was the last time I experienced Christ in my life and the serenity it brings into my soul?

3. How do I share this experience at the manger - the great mystery of the Incarnation – and this very news of great joy for everyone? How does it inspire me to tell others about what today means and its importance for their lives?

The discovery of the love of God as Creator coincided with the encounter with Christ as Savior. In my childhood, but particularly from the moment in which I realized clearly that God was calling me to be a priest, I already understood that he was the ideal which would satisfy all my hopes, the truth which could never deceive, the way which would lead to true happiness, and the one true life. He was the meaning of my existence.

Once I had accepted him as my Redeemer, as I set out to follow him my liberty only increased and exercised itself in a supreme way. For me there was never nor can there ever be another path leading to God, no other truth which can so utterly satisfy the intellect, no other love which can fill the heart more. My life and liberty are irreversibly bound up in him, since I have always considered that the best way to thank him for the gift given is to surrender it into the hands of the one who gave it to me. With Christ as my life and light to show me the way, I was able to envisage my life as a unique and all-absorbing mission: to bring others to participate in his love, his friendship, and his redemption.

In Christ's friendship and his presence I have been and still am enormously happy, carrying the cross that he deemed fit to give me. I thank God for having kept aflame in me this passion for Christ, which is the ideal of my life. If there is one thing that I try to defend in my life it is this friendship with Jesus. If there is one thing that I have feared losing it is this passion for the love of Christ. And now in the autumn of life, the reason why I do not feel tired, overcome, defeated, or grown old is that the light still guides me. I want to live with the same intensity as at the beginning, I want to hand over my life to Christ with the same freshness I felt on the first day of my life as a priest.

“The course of life is determined not by the trivial incidents of day to day, but by a few decisive moments. There may not be over three, four or five such moments in a human life. For many people, it would be the decision of marriage, the taking of a job or changing residence. Certainly a turning point in my life happened when I finished college. A national examination was given to college students. The prize was a three-year university scholarship. I took the examination and won one of the scholarships. I was informed sometime during the summer and immediately went up to St. Viator’s College to see Father William J. Bergan, by now my dear friend. He was on the tennis court when I arrived. With great glee and delight I announced: “Father Bergan, I won the scholarship!” He put his hands on my shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes and said: “Fulton, do you believe in God?” I replied: “You know that I do.” He said: “I mean practically, not from a theoretical point of view.” This time I was not so sure, and I said: “Well, I hope I do.” “Then tear up the scholarship.” “Father Bergan, this scholarship entitles me to three years of university training with all expenses paid. It is worth about nine or ten thousand dollars.” He retorted: “You know you have a vocation; you should be going to the seminary.” I countered with this proposal: “I can go to the seminary after I get my Ph.D., because there will be little chance of getting a Ph.D. after I am ordained, and I would like very much to have a good education.” He repeated: “Tear up the scholarship; go to the seminary. That is what the Lord wants you to do. And if you do it, trusting in him, you will receive a far better university education after you are ordained than before.” I tore up the scholarship and went to the seminary. I have never regretted that visit and that decision.”

Upcoming Events & Retreats

(( Listed here are retreats directed by the Legionaries of Christ and Regnum Christi members. For a listing of diocesan activities and other events, click here to go to the vocation.com website ))

LEGIONARIES OF CHRIST

Rome, Italy. December 27, 2003 - January 5, 2004. Pilgrimage for college-aged men and high school seniors. Price: $399 + airfare. Chaplains are the Legionaries of Christ. Contact Karolee Stauduhar at kstauduhar@msn.com or (407) 869-8263.

Rome, Italy. December 27, 2003 - January 5, 2004. Youth Pilgrimage for boys ages 11-15. Price: $1,495 (includes airfare) Chaplains are the Legionaries of Christ. Contact Ray Arsenault at (902) 854-2808 or arsenaultacres@pei.sympatico.ca.

REGNUM CHRISTI consecrated women

Rome, Italy. December 28, 2003 - January 6, 2004. Pilgrimage for high school girls (grades 8 -11). Price: $600 + airfare. To register now contact Tracy Jones at sjfc@pei.sympatico.ca or (902) 854-2969

Christmas retreat for young women ages 13 - 17 discerning a call to consecrated life. For more information contact Liliana Esmenjaud at matere@ids.net or (401) 378-3201

REGNUM CHRISTI consecrated men

Call Tony MacDonnell for more information, (301) 365-3205. amacdonnell@arcol.org.

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