Introduction: Following you, Lord Jesus, I have found a hidden price tag; a cost that love demands. True love accepts only one thing, totality. I want to give my life completely, totally to your overwhelming love, Lord Jesus. Whatever your calling is for me, however you want me to build your Kingdom, I give you everything that I am. I trust in you, Jesus. I want to follow your call. Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.

 

Gospel Passage: Lk 14:28-32

For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.' Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace.

 

1. Estimate the cost

In this Scripture passage, Lord, you speak about preparation. Before embarking upon any project, due prudence necessitates estimation. Do I have what it takes? Am I prepared sufficiently to succeed in this endeavor? And not just to start, but to finish? The initial waves of enthusiasm makes beginning easier, but only those who endure, those who weather every storm, cross the finish line. The prudent man thoroughly considers all the requisites of a project before committing himself. Once he does, however, he unyieldingly pours himself out unto completion.

Is there any other clearer example of this than your love, Lord Jesus, for us?  When man spurned your love, you did not abandon him to death. You dedicated yourself to build redemption. From the tree of life in Eden to the tree of the cross on Calvary, you carried your project of redemption to completion. You prepared your Chosen People. You were faithful to them when they repeatedly turned to false gods. You sent the prophets to guide your people. Your love for us even called you to become man and to pour out your very blood, every single drop, to raise us up from death. Then, as if this was not enough, you founded your Church and pledged to remain with us in the Eucharist until the end of time. And here you are with us right now as we pray. You did not measure the cost. You did not second-guess your fidelity. Your deliberation was short, but your commitment, total. You gave no heed to the sacrifices entailed. You had the preparation necessary. Total love. The estimate of the calling was covered.

Lord Jesus, you call me to a specific plan. A vocation. It is a participation and continuation in your project of redemption. Do I have the preparation necessary?  What is the estimated cost? As you show us Lord, the estimation first demands love. If I do not love you Lord, with all my heart, then I will never hear or clearly perceive your beckoning. The estimate of the calling also demands, however, trust. This part of the call is perhaps where I am most ill equipped. So often I fail to trust you as a child trusts his mother or father. I doubt your ever-present Providence guiding my life at all moments. You are leading me to your Will. Discernment is not a decision made in a vacuum, devoid of God's influence. You are always at my side. You put people into my life and design certain situations in my life to transmit to me your plan. Teach me to trust, Lord Jesus. Without complete confidence in you, I can begin discernment but I am doomed to leave it unfinished. Complete confidence constitutes my calling cost. Can I cover this estimate? With you, O Lord, I know I can.

 

Conversation with Christ: Lord, I trust in you. I know that you love me and want the best for me. Nothing happens in my life without your permission. Open my eyes to see your guiding hand. Let me grasp your hand and hold onto it as a child. I trust in you. I know that you will lead me to my calling, if I give you my love and trust. Take my heart Lord and show me your plan. I want to spend my life for you.

 

2. Enough to complete it

To complete a project, I first must have all the materials necessary. I can have all the materials, however and still not complete the job. To build St Paul's Cathedral in St Paul, Minnesota, stone was hauled in constantly for 5 years. When all the stone was there, the job was not finished. The cathedral had yet to be built.  Constant effort combined with the necessary materials constructed the Church. 

Applying this to discernment, we see the beautiful example of you, Lord Jesus.  You were called by the Father to redeem man from sin. You had the preparation necessary, and you had enough to complete it. You did not stop short, even when the shadow of the cross loomed over you. You suffered faithfully to the end and never gave up. Today, your constant love still shines before us. You show us unconditional generosity by remaining with us, especially in the Eucharist. You do not count the innumerable hours when you are left alone and abandoned in the tabernacle. You faithfully keep your vigil of love, waiting for us to come to you in our need. So often forgotten in your Eucharistic presence, you give without conditions, in good times and in bad. Your matchless love unyieldingly pours out upon humanity.

How much I have to learn from you, Jesus! I stumble through inconstancy so frequently. When my vocation becomes difficult or applying the means to find my vocation passes underneath the cross, I fall into discouragement. Teach me generosity, Lord. Mold my heart in unconditional giving. You always give me the graces I need to complete my calling, but I have to apply those graces in my life. If I am generous, totally generous, your plan for my life becomes crystal clear.  Help me to purify my tainting selfishness so that I can see and do your will always. I don't want to start my calling and leave it unfinished. I want to have total generosity. Enough to complete my calling.

 

Conversation with Christ: Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional generosity. Your love is so great. I want my heart to be like yours. I want to be completely generous in my vocation at every moment of my life.  This is hard.  Only with your grace can I do it. Yet, I know you want me to discover, follow and fulfill my vocation. I beg you Lord to mold my heart after your magnificent example. Teach me constant giving, even when it hurts, so I will fulfill your plan for my life.

 

Questionnaire

To help you to examine your life, in the light of the inspirations God just gave you in these moments you shared with him.

1. How is distrust manifested in my discernment? What are the fears and doubts I face?

2. In regards to my vocation, where am I setting limits to my generosity? Where are the boundaries of my giving?

3. How can I build greater trust and generosity in my relationship with Christ?