attitude towards signs 

There are two fundamentally different attitudes towards signs that we find reflected in two closely related passages of Luke's gospel.  

The angel gives Zechariah the stupendous news that in his old age he will have a son who will be a prophet. But Zechariah's reaction was to ask for signs that would prove to him what he was hearing. "Show me," he says. "How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years." (Luke 1:15) Trust, faith, acceptance of God's messenger were left aside. His wasn't a first case, he knew from the stories of our Old Testament that God occasionally intervened in this way, he had an angel in front of him... yet he wanted to be a little surer.  

Then, later, Mary is visited by the same angel. (Luke 1:26-38) She is given even more overwhelming news, that she is to be mother of the Messiah. Mary has a question, "How will this be, since I know not man?" The angel tells her how, and gives her the extra news that her cousin Elizabeth, Zechariah's wife, even in her old age has conceived and will have a son. Mary had not asked for a special sign, and when she is given it does not ask for the chance to check it out; she answers, "Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me according to your word." Mary asked not so much for a sign as an indication of how, concretely, God wanted her to carry out something that seemed contradictory at first sight.  

These two passages can be further understood if you consider the balance you find in the following words from Matthew, which can be helpful in our pursuit of signs: And the Pharisees and Sadducees came, and to test him they asked him to show them a sign from heaven. He answered them, "...You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times. An evil and adulterous generation seeks for a sign, but no sign shall be given to it except the sign of Jonah." (Matthew 16: 1-4) 

Our Lord in essence told them that they had enough signs and they should not be looking for more - it is good to remember that this passage comes in the gospel right on the heels of the multiplication of the loaves.  

He then says that they will be given the sign of Jonah. This is taken as referring to his resurrection, yet we see from the gospel that those who had rejected him during his life also rejected the evidence of his resurrection, bribing the guards to say he had not risen but that his body had been taken away by his disciples.  

For a person without the proper dispositions of faith and trust in God, and willingness to accept his word, even the most compelling signs will be never be enough.  

the need for signs 

We do need some signs for, like Mary, we are rational creatures. God does not destroy what we are and take away our reason or our liberty in order to make us answer his call. His is an act of love and he wants our response to be an act of love too, so that it can have merit, and that means respecting our freedom. 

The question of our vocation in life is not a trivial matter, there is much at stake in it - we try to find out what exactly God wants of us in life in order to do that and to be able to present abundant fruits to him at the end of our life; behold your ten talents have gained another ten. We know God loves us. We know he has a plan for each one of us individually. We know he is all-powerful. We know he is kind and will not play around with our lives. And, since he expects fruits from our lives, we know that he will give us enough signs and opportunity to see what he wants of us. However, these will always need and leave ample room for a free response from us; they will not take away from us the opportunity to exercise faith and trust in him.  

They will be overwhelming only if we love him enough. 

But there is more than one type of sign, and each type has a different function in our search for God's will. 

objective signs 

For comparison, take a highway sign. It shows you there are 225 miles to Boston, or that there are dangerous curves ahead. While God does not use anything as simple, straightforward, non-confusing and incontestable to tell us we definitively have a vocation, such signs do exist to a degree.  

They are certain unchangeable elements in your life that are just "there." More than concrete signs of a vocation we could call them preconditions for our vocation, signs that a vocation may exist, or in particular cases, signs that one does not exist. A disability that keeps you bedridden will be a sign that God does not ask you to be an active foreign missionary, no matter how much you would love to be one. The more common of this type of sign are health, particular abilities, age and obligations, in relation to the vocation you are considering.  

The more general, objective signs as regards consecrated life (the conditions without which there is no vocation) are: physical and mental health, emotional health and maturity proper to your age, spiritual health, proper motivations, sufficient intelligence. Each religious group will have its own set of standards drawn from its own particular charism and apostolate, and this will show you with relative clarity if you are not called to a particular group.  

We can say that these objective signs are negative in the sense that they cannot tell us if we do have a vocation, but when they say we don't they are correct. 

subjective signs 

We can be well excused for feeling a little wary of the category of subjective signs. We do not want to be weird or victims of our imagination. But the vocation is a personal call, and certain things are going to strike the person who has a vocation differently to the person who doesn't. You should watch out for these things that convey a special meaning to you. 

coincidences 

When coincidences are considered under the light of faith we can discover God's providence in them. 

Material coincidences are, for example, the people I meet, the places I happen across and so forth. Our life is a tapestry of these coincidences. Friendships, business opportunities, marriages and vocations can all to a great degree point to a material coincidence in their origin: being at the right place at the right time. For one who believes that God is a providential Father it is easy to see his guiding hand in much of what would otherwise appear to be a chance happening - such as repeatedly running across the same people or group. Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's will.  

Spiritual coincidences are when I keep running into similar spiritual experiences and reactions in given circumstances. St. Ignatius noticed that when he read lives of the saints he was inflamed with a desire to do the same and it gave him peace, but when he read novels the results were different, and that fact helped him to see what God was leading him to. You can receive very strong indications of where God is leading you from these experiences in prayer, especially if their emotional content is contained and not predominant. Look at what gives you peace, hope and joy in prayer, and make sure you are connected to reality as you assess your reactions (if you cannot stay in the state of grace, yet at times find yourself carried away by transports of extreme fervor, that is nice, but you know where you have to start). 

Look at your reactions not only when you are at prayer, but also in other circumstances such as when you hear others speak about their mission, when you listen to what the Pope says on a Youth Day, when you help someone, or when you see the problems your friends get into. All of these can have meaning and make you sensitive to the action of the Holy Spirit in your life.  

Another point to consider here are the differences you notice between yourself and your friends and siblings. Look at your values and priorities, your interests, what you find satisfying, worthwhile and fulfilling. What you tend to think about, the spin you give to things, what moves you. Your friends may be good people, but when you speak with them and discover these differences, you can more easily sense the path by which God may be leading you.  

cultivating the supernatural signs 

We are not talking here of seeking special revelations or angelic messages. What we are talking about is giving God a chance.  

When considering what I called subjective signs (discovered in the providential coincidences our life is full of) we saw how they can reveal God's action already present in our souls; No one can come to me unless the Father call him. What we are now referring to is us doing our part to cultivate that.  

There are three elements involved here and, since they are done under the influence of grace and in order to make your soul more responsive to grace, we are calling this active stage the cultivation of supernatural signs.  

Cultivate an active life of prayer so that God's grace can enlighten your mind more freely through the greater exercise of your faith. This will help you to base your decisions on faith rather than blind, unenlightened reason. 

Cultivate an active purification of your soul so that your passions will not present an obstacle to God's action and call. 

Cultivate a more active life of service. Do some apostolic action so that in it God can teach you to love and sacrifice yourself for others.  

As you can see, we are talking about giving their place to the theological virtues (faith, hope, charity) which will allow God to show himself to us more freely.  

some extremes 

One extreme when seeking signs is to take everything as a sign, indiscriminately. The smallest thing, the minutest experience is given unjustified importance. The incidental, comforting, and totally subjective is given the mantle of special revelation. This inevitably leads to confusion because it does not allow us to take things in their context, and does not allow us to give them their relative importance. A subjective reaction is put on a par with a truth of faith and sometimes above it. This hamstrings our faith because it eliminates all critical use of our reason - and remember, grace builds on nature, faith enlightens but does not contradict reason.  

Another extreme is when no sign is enough. If they do not believe Moses and the Prophets they will not believe even if someone rises from the dead. This attitude is totally lacking in trust. There is never enough to go on, there is always reason to doubt. This person never quite trusts his spiritual director, and possibly has several he consults. 

It may seem strange to have a third extreme, but frequently there is also the case of those who are decided or deciding, and do not know what meaning to give to the difficulties they experience. They take their difficulties as countersigns. Signs against. As if a vocation consisted in a calling not to have difficulties. 

This often happens when our love is not strong, when we do not love with passion what God wants from us. Instead of identification between our will and his, there is distance. Love makes us strong and keeps us persevering in adversity. But love grows and deepens in trial. Very often it takes the help of a prudent spiritual director in order to help us see if the difficulties are signs pointing in another direction or if they are no more than normal, purifying trials.