Preparatory Prayer: My Jesus, once more I am here in your presence, to speak with you and to listen to you, to empty myself of myself and to be filled with you and your message. I come to nourish my mind and I come to nourish my heart. I come to enlighten my faith and make it a living presence in my life. I believe you are present here, and it comes into me that through grace you are also present in my soul, in my mind. And I come here to renew my faith so I can live and do all that I do everyday, aware that you are always with me. When I come here, it is to be with you, to accept your invitation.  

I hope and trust that I will accept and receive all you want to give me in this meditation, and that you will make me gradually more and more docile to your grace and to your will. I hope in this because my greatest fulfillment, the greatest happiness you can give me, is to set you in the first place and to serve you and to become more like you.  

I want to love you, and to love you by loving my neighbor without counting the cost. To seek what is best for my neighbor, to give myself to you for my neighbor.  

I am just your creature, and I am a fallen creature, I have sinned. The gifts you have given me, I may have misused them or left them unused. So I come to you because I need you, and I need your light, I need your strength, and I need you to set my heart on fire.  

I thank you for the wonderful patience that you have had with me, and your constant invitations. I thank you for this new opportunity to build upon the graces that you have already given me in my retreat and to live it, anxious for the gifts you still have to give me.  

So once more I take Mary's hand. With her as my mother and guide I will listen to you and strive to let your words into the deepest recesses of my soul, mind, and spirit, so they will truly become my life, my food, - and so I will learn to love you as you deserve. 

1. A contemplation at the foot of the Cross 

In this meditation, we will look at the mystery of the Passion. We will look at Christ on his Cross listen to some of the words he said to us from the Cross. We will see what he has most in his heart when he actually pays the price for our sins. In an extreme moment, no one is not going to waste his words on trivial matters; if Christ is in agony on the cross and yet speaks to us, they have to be things of utmost importance to him. 

In your mind's eye, place yourself at the foot of the cross. At the foot of the cross was Mary his mother, Mary of Cloepas, some other women, and then there was the disciple that Jesus loved. We can stand at the foot of the Cross and we can say that we are the disciple that Jesus loved. John speaks mysteriously about the disciple that Jesus loved, but everybody knows he is speaking about John, about himself. He never mentions himself, just speaks indirectly of himself. Because he uses this indirect phrase, we can just take that title for our own. It's no imagination - Jesus has loved us.  

So, standing at the foot of the Cross, we look up at Christ, being with him in his agony. Standing like John. Don't think that just because Jesus loved him, John had always been absolutely faithful in his love. John was not like Mary, always faithful. John had been with Jesus in the Agony in the Garden and John had fallen asleep, along with James, his brother, and with Peter. When Jesus said to those who came out, "If it's me you are looking for, let these friends of mine go." John took off with everybody else, and then John came back seeking the cross. So in that same way, we can present ourselves at the foot of the cross. We have been with him at the Eucharist at the last Supper. We have been close to Christ before, like John laying his head on Jesus' breast. We have told him that we love him, felt the benefit of this love, and yet we also ran away. But John returned. John knew his own weakness, this man who was so passionate that Jesus called him and his brother the "Sons of Thunder." This was no meek and humble man, at least not naturally so. He became so afterwards because he was an exceptionally strong follower of Jesus.  

"So they took charge of Jesus, and carrying his own cross, he went out of the city to the place of the Skull. There they crucified him with two others, one on either side with Jesus in the middle. When the soldiers had finished crucifying Jesus, they took his clothing and divided it into four shares, one for each soldier. His outer garment was seamless, woven in one piece from neck to hem, so they said to one another, 'Instead of tearing it, let's throw dice to decide who is to have it. In this way the words of Scripture were fulfilled: 'They shared out my clothing among them and cast lots for my clothes.' This was exactly what the soldiers did." This is St. John telling the Passion of Christ. "Now near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleopas, Mary of Magdala. Seeing his mother and the disciple that he loved standing near her Jesus said to his mother, 'Woman, this is your son.' And to the disciple he said, 'This is your mother.' And from that moment the disciple made a place for her in his home." 

So here we are at the foot of the cross with John. We see Christ stripped of his garments. We see every last earthly possession he had being taken from him, shared among the soldiers. Looking down, he saw his mother and the disciple standing near her. So in this meditation, let's stand near Mary and let's listen to what Jesus said to his mother. You know sometimes we might say here that Jesus was looking out for Mary and was simply asking John to take care of her, like any son who was dying and leaving a widowed mother would ask a friend to take care of her. But if that were the case he would have started by saying to John, "Take care of my mother." But that is not what he says. Instead of speaking to John because Mary needed his help, he speaks to his mother saying "This is your son." It is not so much that Jesus tells John, "Take care of my mother," it's Jesus telling Mary "Take care of my son." He is saying to her, "This is your son." And in case there is a misunderstanding and people think he is talking about himself saying "This is your son," well why would he say that, she knows that. But in case there is any mistake, he turns to the disciple and says, "This is your mother." So first of all he says to Mary, "This is your son," words you can imagine God using whenever God puts life, new life, a young life in the hands of a woman when he makes her a mother, it's to take care of that life, to nurture that life. So he is saying to Mary, "This is the new life that I am placing in your hands, this is your son." 

Remember that at the beginning of the Gospel of St. John, at the wedding of Cana, Mary sends a message to Jesus to say "They have no wine." Jesus speaks words to Mary that seem very curt and very cutting to us: "Mother, what is that to me and to you? My hour has not yet come." And then we have John all throughout the Gospel speaking about the "Hour of Jesus." And now that his hour has come that he be glorified, that he be taken from this world, we don't have Mary intruding, we have Mary present and we have Jesus addressing Mary. His hour has come and now we are entering into a new phase that he is doing. And he says to Mary, "Here is your son." Now is when I am giving you the care of these people. "My hour has come, and now it is time for you to be mother to my disciples." He is giving Mary the place that she is going to have in all of Christian life. And he places us in her hands like God placed him in her hands. We know that God prepared Mary for her calling to be the mother of Jesus; that is the reason she was conceived without original sin, that she was always faithful, that she grew in grace. And the reason why afterwards, when her life ended, God gave her the reward of bringing her straight and completely into Heaven without having to wait for the resurrection on the last day. But all of it because she was the mother of the Son. She was the one who had educated him, his human nature, she was the one who taught him his prayers, she was the one who took care of him the way any mother takes care of her son.  

Then he turns towards the Apostle, "Here is your mother." as you would say it to a child. Perhaps a fearful and helpless child, "Here is the one that will teach you, show you; the one you should always have close to your heart. Here is the one no one else can take the place of. From that moment, John made a place for her in his home. Or "among everything that made up his life." So if we want to live the Passion of Christ, if we want to place ourselves in the position to receive all the graces that Christ has won for us and that Christ alone has gained for us, he has given us our mother to help us to know him. And if we make Mary a part of our lives of our Christian lives, Mary's example and Mary's intercession will lead us to Jesus. From the beginning of Christianity, Mary has always had a place. Ancient hymns like the Sub tuum praesidium go back to the earliest times. "We fly to your protection, O Mother of God. Never was it known that anyone who asked for your protection was denied you assistance." That prayer goes way back to shortly after the time of St. John. So John made a place for Mary.  

2. Making Mary a part of your life 

Mary is already our mother, there is no hesitation in accepting Christ's word, the next thing is for us to be her children - to make Mary a part of our lives. That is why those who love Mary like praying the rosary as a special means of asking for her intercession, asking for her to coach us along as we follow Christ. True to what we see in the Gospel she says very few words to us, but what a difference there is when we make her present over when we don't.  

There are countless converts for whom the definitive step was when they turned to Mary. They had studied, tried to understand, tried to reason, but they could only open their heart in trust when they finally turned to her 

Questionnaire: 

To help you to examine your life, in the light of the inspirations God just gave you in these moments you shared with him. 

1. What lesson do I need to learn from the apostle John? 

2. What place does Mary have in my life? Do I trust her, and follow her example?