Hello Fr Bannon.

I have been discerning on my own a vocation to be a nun for about 2 years and am about to begin discerning with a spiritual director.

There are only 2 things that are holding me back at this time from actively pursuing entry into any community. First is financial debt which I need to pay off. However, once that is paid off, I am not sure what to do concerning my mother. I worry about leaving her on her own once I do find a community I would like to enter. There is absolutely no other family to look after her. My older brother is about to enter the Merchant Marines and will be living at sea. Her only other child, a son, was killed in 1994. My mother is not currently infirmed but emotionally and financially she is needy. The death of my younger brother has taken the wind out of her sails and she has pretty much latched onto me for her strength. I am also the main bread-winner since she is on state disability and can barely make it on her own. My mind is split because we are told to honour our father and mother. However, we are also told that if we cannot leave our loved ones (mother included) to follow our Lord, then we are not worthy of Him.

The pool of possible communities is also dwindling for me because I am 37 years old. My mother is only 61 and will probably be around for many more years (which I am grateful for).

I do continue to pray to God for guidance and to open the way to whatever life He is calling me to.

I know that you cannot give me a solid answer but I suppose I am requesting some general advice.

Thank you and God bless.