www.vocation.com - How can I give my daughter guidance about the consecra

	Bill asks: Dear Fr. Anthony, I am writing to seek advice on how I can guide my child through her spiritual growth. I have three children, all daughters. My middle child is only twelve but has expressed many times over the past few years that she will become a nun. I really do not think a child of twelve understands what this means (nor do I, for that matter). However, she feels inspired by the life of Mother Teresa. She has a strong desire to belong to an order that specifically helps the poor. Again, I am not sure she really understands what it means to devote your life in such a way. My basic problem is I do not know how to nurture this. She seems to have developed this on her own without much influence by mom and dad. I am not sure if I should expose her to this kind of life at this early of an age. As a family, we pray together. We say a family rosary most Sunday evenings. We go to church weekly and all holy days of obligation. We confess our sins every month or so. Both of my older daughters volunteer from time to time at a Catholic assisted living facility near our church. Both go to Catholic schools. Both are very well behaved. Both see a loving mom and dad. Somewhat late in life (38), we where blessed with a third daughter (she is now only 16 months). Both have been a tremendous help in raising her. We are also caught up in the materialistic way of life. All three daughters live very comfortable lives. I have been blessed with a very successful career and have been able to provide quite a luxurious way of life. We like our stuff. I would welcome any advice you can give, especially along the lines of when is it time to expose her to life as a nun, what guidance I can give her and how can I nurture what may be a very real direction for my daughter. Thank you and God bless.
	Dear Bill, Your letter reflects beautifully several mysterious aspects to the way God's grace can work in different souls. His grace is at work in a young soul (your daughter's) inspiring such clarity beyond her years, although perceived in the simplicity and innocence she is still living. He is also at work in your soul inspiring awe and respect for his action, a desire to support it, and also clarity of your own about the place material things are taking in your life. Among other things, I think you should consider first of all where God is leading you personally. You are fulfilling your normal obligations as a Catholic, yet you seem to sense that something may be missing - it may be to do something for your faith (to nourish your knowledge of it, to reach out and give it to other parents who may not be finding in it the stable focus of their family lives, for example). Whatever it is, it seems God is giving you a gentle prod. Your increased personal commitment will make you more sensitive to God's action and more perceptive in relation to what is most prudent for your daughter. To clarify some things: God can give the grace of seeing his call to anyone at any age. As a father, take care of this as you do her material needs. Just as you work to give your family all the material things they need and more, pray and increase your Christian life in order to gain them the graces they need to know and love God more. You already give good example in the way you live your marriage. If she is called to be a nun, it is important that she have your example of what a truly Christian marriage is and that she recognize the goodness of marriage as from God and leading to him; this will be one of the greatest helps for her to understand the nature of her vocation to love God exclusively if she is called to be a nun. Help and encourage her prayer life, her awareness of God's love; give her the opportunities to learn and grow in mind and character; allow her to continue and even increase the service she and her sister do; and let her read about Mother Theresa if she is inclined in that direction. As she continues to grow through her adolescent years, make sure her understanding, character, heart and faith are nourished harmoniously. I, personally, do not think it is too early for her to see a little more closely what the life of the Sisters is like. Perhaps on a family trip to one of the cities where they have a convent you could visit them, or something of the sort. I hope these ideas help, and if you have more questions I will be glad to try to answer them. God bless,


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