Dear Becky,  

What would be your purpose in dating? If you were going out with a young man and you really thought you loved him, would you risk losing him by telling him you have to shop around a little more before you accept the engagement ring he wants to offer you? It's hard to understand why some people think that when God offers us a vocation we ought to answer him by saying that we would like to shop around a little more . If you do that and are normal you will find someone you like - and then what will you do? Is being normal a sign that you don't have a vocation? Quite the contrary. To make a mature decision for religious life and consecrated virginity it is not necessary to have a boyfriend to break up with. You are 23 and you know what you are giving up, but the most important thing about consecrating ourselves to God is not what/who we are leaving buy who we are giving ourselves to and how.

I am sure you can deduce from what I am saying that usually we should not even question putting God first. It is the natural Christian response. That is the general principle. However, you are an individual, and there may be some special circumstances to your case that need to be looked into. That is why you need to have a spiritual director, a person who knows what he is about and that you really trust, to ask him if in your case there may perhaps be some substantial reason to delay your entering the convent. You also need to talk with the spiritual director about the reasons you have never dated. There can be many good and healthy reasons not to date (because you think you have a vocation, for example), but there can also be unhealthy ones (a fear of marriage, distrust of men), and these can point to areas that you need to work on in your life before committing to religious life.