Dear Chad,

I don't think there are hard statistics on the correlation between not having dated before becoming a priest and subsequent desertions. However, any correlation, if it exists, is purely accidental. There is no essential connection between the two. The real correlation is between desertion and lack of prayer, lack of care.

When talking about dating and a vocation, there are two very different situations to consider. One, is when a young person has no idea he has a vocation, or it is only a vague, non-explicit idea somewhere in the back of his mind. After dating for a while the vocation becomes more explicit, and he gives up dating in order to follow the vocation. That is one of the paths God sometimes leads a soul by.

The other situation is more like yours. A young person feels he has a vocation and wonders should he date. By dating I mean not just having friends who are girls that you enjoy being around, but singling out one of them and taking direct, active interest in her, and going out together. You will find in the section on dating in these questions and answers some considerations that you may find helpful as regards this second situation, but let me add something I don't think I have mentioned elsewhere although you will find it expressed in some of the questions: there are a good number of young people who showed signs of a vocation, or even truly felt a vocation, who dated "just to make sure" or "just to have the experience" - and then found themselves faced with this question: is it not a sign from God that he sent me this wonderful person, doesn't it mean he wants me to be married?

Human nature being what it is, and going on experience, I am absolutely sure that there is a direct correlation between a person who knows he might have a vocation and dates and then as a result never tries the vocation.

God bless.