Dear Victoria,  

Your letter reveals a lot about our human nature. It also reflects your love for God, which is sincere but has forgotten what it is to be human. 

Sometimes we think our human nature is only attracted towards evil, but it is even more attracted toward what is good.  

Your seminarian friend has got to be a good young man, healthy, wanting what is right, generous and willing to give himself to God, not as fickle or superficial as other young men you know. And you are trying to be good, you are interested in your faith, you don't want to separate him from God, you want to do what is right. Obviously you have been friends and have spent time together because you admire and respect each other. What neither of you realized is the deep attraction you would exert on each other. At the beginning if you thought about it at all you probably figured that since you both had good intentions there could not possibly be any harm in your seeing each other. But, enter human nature! You are now deeply attracted and you think you may be in love.  

Here is what you both have to accept: given human nature, if you continue to entertain the possibility that you may be in love, you probably will grow even more fond of each other over time. Whether that will last or not I don't know since both of you are young, and many things might happen over the next few years. For sure then, if your friend is going to be coherent with his feelings for you, sooner or later he will have to leave the seminary. 

Your confusion seems to stem from this: you have a suspicion that, despite your feelings for each other, he is meant to be a priest. If both of you think that he might be called there is one very hard thing that you have to do if you are going to find peace: he is going to have to face the question: am I or am I not called to be a priest? He has to answer it without reference to his feelings for you, because these feelings only show he is normal and good. (Any good, normal, young seminarian who spends time with a healthy and good young woman of his age is going to have feelings for her). He will probably need to do a retreat and speak very candidly with his spiritual director. And you are going to have to decide that you will respect the conclusion he comes to. For this you will both have to decide not to go out with each other or spend time together.  

If he sees that he does have a vocation he will have to decide if he is going to follow it wholeheartedly and keep his heart only for God, or not. He owes it to himself, to you, to Christ and the Church to make a clear and firm decision. And in this case you will have to give up any thought of "just being friends" or ever going out with him again, since as you have experienced, it won't work - it will be the same story all over again.  

If he sees he doesn't have a vocation he should leave the seminary so as not to be "neither fish nor fowl". In this case you will probably want to continue to be friends and see what God has in store for you.  

God bless.