I'm glad you find ShoreLines helpful; I'll try to keep it coming regularly.

As regards your question, it is not so much a question of finding a balance between obeying your father and discovering God's will, but of finding God's will in how he expects you to obey your father. Let me explain.

You could say there are two levels to discerning God's will, one is internal to our spirit and the other involves taking action externally. One is when you get the impression in your spirit, privately, in your heart and mind that God is calling you, and the other happens when in order to confirm your internal impression you take practical steps to discover and follow the vocation, taking action.

The first is really a question of the gradual maturing of our Christian call, which consists in putting Christ at the center of our lives and deciding to live our life as he wants us to live it. This is a personal, spiritual journey. It is quite possible to make the journey and discern in your heart and soul that God wants you completely for himself while still young and at home. God does not give anyone, not even our parents or spiritual directors, the authority to interfere with that journey or dictate how far it can go. They, certainly, will all try to enlighten and help us and make sure we are not victims of imagination or illusions, but no one can tell God to be quiet and not speak to a soul.

Then there comes the active discernment: inquiring, visiting, doing retreats, interviewing, joining... Here is where we have to understand what God's commandment really says. God tells us, Honor your father and mother. To honor your parents when you are 16 means something different than when you are 18, 20 or 25. At 16 you honor your parents by obeying them. So if your father insists that you cannot take part in discernment retreats or commit yourself externally in any way towards a vocation, God wants you to obey him - and if you think you have a vocation you are going to have to cultivate it by being obedient to your father. You learn and express your obedience to God by obeying your parents. However, you should not do anything that would jeopardize your vocation. In this type of situation it is always advisable to have a spiritual director or some prudent person you can talk things over with - it may be your mother - so as to make sure you are doing what is right, since there may be many judgment calls to be made.

When you come of age, you will honor your parents by taking into account what they say, turning to them for advice, but at that stage you will be responsible for your own decisions, and may find yourself in good conscience differing from them in your decisions. When you make your decisions, you will have to be very honest with yourself to make sure that you are really seeking God's will and not just asserting your own will and independence.

I hope this helps.
 
God bless,