www.vocation.com - How to help my parents better understand and accept my

	Shara asks: I'm a 24-year old woman entering the Cistercian Order Valley of Our Lady Monastery (www.nunocist.org) in Prairie du Sac, WI this coming month. I am also a convert to the Catholic faith. My parents are Protestants, and are understandably having a difficult time accepting my decision to enter a traditional cloistered monastery so far from home. My Dad tells me that Im being selfish, that God doesn't call people to `lock themselves away` or `turn their backs on their family, etc. I've done my best to explain to him that by belonging more to God I'll be closer to them, too. He read a book about Cistercian spirituality and excerpts from Vita Consecrata and Sponsa Verbi I gave him about the nature and value of contemplative life; but he just doesn't agree with my choice. This is a very difficult situation for me, but I am convinced that it is God's will and the great desire of my heart for me to enter the monastery, so I just recommend my family to the Lord in prayer. Do you have any advice as how to help my parents better understand and accept my choice to enter the cloister? Thanks, and God bless you, Father.
	Dear Shara, There are some situations in which there is no substitute for time, and it seems to me that such is the case here. Your Dad is obviously very attached to you, and that is natural; it is hard for him to give up a daughter especially when he doesn't understand the validity or value of what you are doing, as it is totally out of the realm of his experience. Just imagine, if Catholic parents often experience difficulty in accepting their children's vocation to a contemplative or any of the stricter orders, despite the long tradition of such vocations and all the stories of the saints and missionaries we are brought up on in the Church, it has got to be many, many times more difficult for someone without that background. Besides, parents always want their children to be happy, and it is hard for him to imagine you being happy in the life you are choosing, so he has got to be concerned that you may be making a big mistake. I think you need to be aware of just how difficult it is for him to simply understand what you are doing, never mind being enthusiastic about it. Continue doing what you can to help him by giving him materials to read, keep offering prayers for him, and set his heart to some degree at rest with your example of firmness and serenity in your decision. God bless,


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