Dear Philip, 

It really doesn't seem all that long since our conversation. And yet God has not let go of you, even if it has been a year. 

It seems that your confusion stems from the fact that while everyone seems to see "priest" written all over you, you still would love to join the military and get married. Before getting into the matter any further let me tell you that I cannot say that you have a vocation. The most I can ever say is if someone has the usual signs of a vocation. The only real way of telling if you do have one is by following it if the signs point in that direction. When Peter stepped out of the boat he did not know for sure if he could walk on the water or not, but he trusted Jesus enough to take the first step; and even then after he had done it for a while, when he began to think about what he was actually daring to do, he got nervous and began to sink - and he had to turn to the answer to everything: Lord! Save me, I'm drowning! 

So, a certain amount of insecurity, second thoughts and fear are not to be unexpected when you let Jesus start calling the shots in your life. He goes a little too fast, a little deeper than is comfortable, he asks a little more than we would like, and the only guarantee he gives us is his word. 

But there is really only one way of following Jesus, and that is totally. 

Ask yourself these questions to see where you stand: Do you think that the thoughts you have, the fact that you can't seem to drop the thought of the priesthood, the fact that others seem to see it in you... do you think that all of this is just a human thing or maybe God is saying something to you through it all? What would you do if you knew for definite that he wants you to be a priest, would you leave everything and give it 100%? Would you like to know if he is calling you (are you prepared to take the risk that he might be)? 

If you think there is a possibility God might be behind this, and you are willing to take him at his word (or his suggestion), then you need to sit down with a priest you trust and open your whole life to him. Let him in so that he can examine your life with you and see if there is any sure sign that God is NOT calling you. If there isn't, you need to take a deep breath, step over the side of your boat, put your feet on the waves and start walking; and don't, don't take your eyes off him. 

As for the desire to get married and your military career, they are NOT a sign that he is not calling you. They are a sign that you are normal and if he is calling you, that you are going to follow him out of love and not by default. 

God bless.