Marianne asks:

Dear Father, 

First of all thank you so much for having this website. It has been helping me lately when I need someone to talk about this with and no one is there or wants to listen. My parents are tired of hearing me say "I think God wants me to be a Religious" because I always get down and depressed when thinking these thoughts. My mom keeps saying that if God wants me to do something he will place the desire within me. I do love the Catholic Church and I want to be a servant of God. I felt a little guilty because if God does will the Religious life for me, I would not want it. So my dad thinks I try to make myself consider the Religious life out of guilt, which I realize could be true. I want to know God, do His will, be a servant, love with His love, be transformed through Him, and be married with a family. Is that possible? I want to be holy and bring my family to know and love Him. I do realize I will need a lot of transformation before being "co-head" of a family. Sometimes I get scared thinking about what would happen to me if God wanted me to be a nun and I got married. I frequently cause myself anxiety and want to put an end to it. Yes, I am a paranoid person and sometimes fear for what I do not want, but am I being paranoid or trying to dodge a vocation?