Dear George,

I know that not everyone may not agree with me on this, but I think that if you are actively discerning the priesthood, getting emotionally involved with (i.e., dating) a young woman is only going to cause confusion and be a hindrance rather than a help. Having a vocation does not change your human nature, and by nature men are attracted to women, and vice versa.

Ordinary friendships are good, (however, dating is more than a regular friendship, it has the element of exclusivity, and there is a certain promise in it that you are seriously considering a future with the woman you date) but as soon as the vocation begins to appear on the horizon there is a choice to be made: either you do all you can to help it, or you endanger it.

If you have a vocation I think you test it more authentically by giving up dating than by dating. I mean, we all know what happens when you date, you either end up heading for marriage or you break up. If you are called to marriage you continue to date until you meet the right person, but you dont continue to date a person you know you are not going to marry. That is why it doesnt make sense to me to date if you think you have a vocation, for you will be dating someone you dont intend to marry.

If you are called to the priesthood you should test your call by seeing if you can apply the necessary means to preserve your vocation, which in this instance means you test to see if you can live without dating, and if you can center your life on Christ to the exclusion of marriage.

God bless.