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I'm terrified that my parents will never support my vocation.

Marie asks:

I'm a 16 year old French Canadian girl. For almost two years now, I have felt called to religious life. Every day, my desire to serve God grows.... and I am crying just thinking about it. However I feel so much pain! My parents have great expectations, and want me to be rich and successful. My parents are catholic, however my father never goes to church. My mother goes to mass once in a while, but the household I grew up in wasn't religious at all. We don't have crucifix, we have never blessed the table, in fact I don't recall ever hearing the name of Jesus in my house without blasphemy! How am I to approach them with this news?! I am absolutely terrified! I'm afraid they will react badly and not understand how I feel... I have tried ignoring the feeling inside me, but it is too strong. I loose sleep almost every night, viewing in my head over and over how I will say it, and imagining their reaction. I apologize for the length of my question. Please guide me.

Dear Marie, 

I have just spoken with another young woman in almost the same situation as yourself, the same characteristics at home, but she is close to finishing her studies at a prestigious university and all her parents want is for her to be 'successful' - which means for them to make lots of money herself and marry someone rich as well- but she has felt for some years now the call to give her life to Christ and does not want to say no to him.  

The first question I think you should find an answer to is, where is God calling me? It probably will no do much good approaching your parents before you have a good idea of where God wants you to go. Once you think you know where God is calling you, ask them (where you want to join) when they think you should. Some groups have high-school programs, for others you will have to have finished your CEGEP (I hope I got that right), and still others will want you to have finished college before joining. As you can imagine each of these possibilities puts you in a different situation regarding your parents. Then you should see how you can get more involved directly with the group from now. (Doing apostolic work with them, visiting them, etc...) so as to strengthen your call and to discern more concretely. Ask one of them to be your spiritual director, and as she gets to know you and your situation better she will be able to give you more concrete advice as regards your parents, when to tell them, and how. Naturally, anything you can do to bring your parents back to the faith will help their understanding of your call. I'll say a prayer for you. God bless.

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