Dear Tammy,  

Not a doubt that God is hard to figure out at times. That's because we are just his creatures and neither our mind nor our heart is big enough for such a task, but we can catch enough of a glimmer especially if we use the light faith gives us. Let's take your question by parts.

If you have a vocation it does not mean there is no man out there that you could love and who would be very good for you, even spiritually speaking. I guess if we were the ones giving out vocations we would probably say, 'this is what I want you to do and it is your only shot at holiness and happiness, so you'd better wake up and take it.' God is not like that.

Our vocation is what he wants us to do, where we fit in, his 'best-case scenario' for us. He makes the invitation, he sends us his messengers, he makes sure we have the opportunity to hear the call - but he never forces us. It even seems that most times there is ample room for doubt as regards our vocation, precisely because he never forces it on us. He attracts us. He gives us the chance to show our love in trust and generosity. And there is no big stick.

Let me rephrase your question. You thought you had solved the vocation question, but it has come back. The striking aspect to what you say is that these thoughts are definitely not something you have sought, and they have increased as you have become more spiritually minded. What confuses you is this, that the person who seems to be the 'culprit' for your spiritual growth and renewal (and hence in great part for your thinking about the vocation) is precisely someone who seems sent by God as a top-drawer find for a good marriage.
Maybe this will help. Keep your feet on the ground, from the point of view of faith. Look at reality. Your boyfriend has encouraged you to grow spiritually and straighten out your priorities. He has been God's instrument for that. Now it seems God is building on this gift he gave you through and in your friend. Your thoughts, and the impression others seem to have are also part of reality.

I think you owe it to yourself, God, and your boyfriend to look into the vocation. Don't try to figure out why God did things this way or that, just live reality. Give God his place. Give the souls that may need you their place. Give him a chance to make his will more clear to you by actively testing your vocation.

And what about your boyfriend? Who knows what plans God may have for him, and what part your example is going to have in hi s discovering what God ultimately wants of him. But of this much be sure: if you have a vocation, he is not the last 'perfect' man you are going to meet in your life. And each time you do, you are going to choose God above any creature of his.