www.vocation.com - What should I be looking for to tell me whether to get

	Rob asks: My question regards my own vocation, and how to discern what my vocation is. My life took a sharp turn back to the Church some years ago, and since then I have wondered about my vocation. My problem is as follows: In all my life (I am now in my 20's) I never had any thoughts about the religious life, nor did anyone ever introduce me to it. In other words, my heart has always been set on marriage, and in fact seems to have been married all this time to the prospect of having a lifelong female companion. In addition to this, my lifestyle before my return to the Faith was a typical Catholic male's life in the 90's, (Not necessarily virtuous). So as you can see I am somewhat conditioned from the start. When I came back to the Faith, I separated myself from contact with women, and began to seriously think about the religious life. And so, now I wonder what to look out for that may lead me to either state. I fear the betrayal of the Religious life, while at the same time I fear the sacrifice of marriage. Aside from giving it time, what is prescribed for those in my position?
	Dear Rob, The fact that you never thought of the priesthood before your return to the faith is of no importance in finding an answer to your vocational question. God has his time for everyone. What does have more of a bearing is your life while away from the faith. You will have to speak very frankly to a priest or spiritual director about your past life in order to see if it is in any way an impediment to the religious life, or if it would simply make it imprudent for you to attempt living it. If you have been through no more than the normal struggles, then the next step would be for you to start looking around, and visit the community that attracts you. As regards your two fears, the fear that you might betray the religious life through your weakness is healthy and necessary. When you speak to a priest as I just mentioned, you can examine with him the basis of your fear and find out from him the way to grow in strength with God's grace and how to protect yourself from your own weakness. Your fear of the sacrifice of marriage may be healthy as well; it may help you to be prudent in choosing the right person, but you should not let it paralyze you. You should definitely not go into religious life just because you are afraid of the commitment of marriage; you will find the commitment of religious life no less demanding and it comes without the intimate companionship and some of the human consolation that marriage offers. God bless,


	Type your question here to search the responses in the AnswerBase. If you don't find an answer, send your question to Fr Bannon online...