Dear Marie, 

The first thing I think God would wish you to do is to rise above your feelings. That is why he gave you intelligence and will, and then enriched them with the gifts of faith, hope and love, which he gave you in Baptism. 

You are going to need the help of someone closer to you who knows your circumstances better in order to sort through your attitudes towards marriage. You say you appreciate it as a call, that you feel called to be a religious, but then you are not sure if your desire to be a religious is due only to the fact that it eliminates marriage for you. So there may be something here that you have not yet worked through.  

I think it will help you if you focus on the positive side, on what religious life is. Do you want to give yourself heart and soul Christ, totally? Do you want to serve him in others? Do you want to offer him the sacrifice of poverty and obedience, as well as chastity? Focus on what you honestly want to do, not on the conflicting feelings, or scrupulous second-guessing. Purify your motives, that means: if you are not sure of your deepest reasons for seeking religious life, consciously reinforce the proper ones (love for Christ and souls) in prayer, asking him to help you seek what is right for the right reasons.  

This more than anything else is what I think you need to focus on in prayer. But you are going to need some ongoing spiritual direction to work through the various aspects of this.  

God bless.