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Can I really be called to celibacy?

Alex asks:

I think the Lord is calling me to be celibate. I've been more or less leading a celibate life this year. However, lately there have been some distractions. There are a couple girls who are infatuated with me. I am scheduled to eat out with one of them next week. I really like them, and these distractions are not only distracting but also confusing. They make me wonder, am I really called to celibacy? Is it OK or good or pleasing to the Lord to become friends with these two girls even if I think He is calling me to be celibate?

 

Dear Alex,  

From the other answers in this forum you see that our feelings and attractions remain even if we are called to celibacy. Let me give you some further tips.  

One, you have to know yourself. For example, if you are the type of person who gets involved with people, takes a personal interest in them, feels for them, etc. you know find it difficult to maintain a certain independence in a friendship. It is good to know this about yourself.  

Two, you have to be practical. Certain things, like friendship and attachment between the sexes, come unbidden. They can hamper the recognition of God's call.  

Three, the hint that you feel that God might be asking celibacy of you seems to be pretty strong. It is a hunch worth following up on. If you go out with a girl, I suggest that you also find time to be alone with Christ - drop into a church and talk with him a while. Go on a good spiritual retreat that will challenge you.  

Four, the importance of point three is: if you get interested in a certain girl more than others you will find yourself declining invitations so as to be more with her. If Christ may be calling you to be celibate you will find yourself having to decline other invitations, because of where your heart is. That is the core of celibacy. God bless.

 

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