Dear Doug,  

It depends on what you are focused on.  

I think I can say almost for certain that in all religious communities there is time for relaxation and friendship. It would be very unusual not to. What very often happens is the concept of relaxation may be a little different and the individual may have to mature in this regard, and grow into a new life-style that is not exactly what he was accustomed to before.  

A young person probably relaxes by chilling out with his friends at the mall, or maybe just hanging around, listening to music, watching TV, or not doing much. Like you say, nothing bad. If you give your life to God things will probably be different, and you will acquire new tastes in music, friendship and relaxation. It may entail letting go of some things, and finding enjoyment and happiness in new ways; it will mean growing into something new. This is not all that unusual as a person finds his call in life.  

Like a man who gets married. Before he found nothing more boring than holding babies in his arms, or playing with them on his lap - but look at him after he has his first child, you can't take the baby away from him, and he's happier than ever bouncing it up and down on his knees, something he used to hate!  

Another thing a person learns as he matures is that he can't do things exactly when he would like to. If you're a skier and there's been a good storm, you can't just call in sick and take off for the slopes, not if you want to keep your job and feed your family, that is. So your fun and relaxation is going to be a little more constrained than it might have been before.  

When you follow a vocation you make the same kinds of adjustments and have to be open to the same type of growth.  

God bless.