Dear Anonymous,  

All the possibilities are there in your life. So what is happening to you, the urge to be a Carmelite and the feeling you might be called to be a mother, is both a mix-up of feelings and normal. We are all like that, we are full of mixed and alternating feelings, especially as regards vocation. Why?  

The trouble with a decision about a vocation is that it is not as clear as deciding between what is right and what is wrong. In these cases the answer is obvious, you have to choose what is right and do what is good. But as regards the vocation we have to say that marriage and family is good, single life for God is good, religious vocation is good. So which good are we supposed to pick? We know we could do any one of them with God's help, each o f them attracts us, so we don't know where to turn and get confused.  

Usually when the vocation comes into our mind and persists there is something to it. It can often be God speaking to us. If you have not done so already, I would encourage you to go and visit a Carmelite Convent; if there is one in your city go there often to pray; speak to one of the sisters. Once they get to know you a little they will be able to tell you if it sounds like a vocation to them, and what to do next.