Dear Samantha,

I hope you dont mind me saying that I think you are going about this the wrong way.

It is natural to have fears and doubts, some people more than others. Sometimes these are directed towards the future, as in your case right now, and sometimes they are directed towards the past, as when we make a decision and years later circumstances make us question if it was the right one, if we were honest, etc. Since you seem to be the apprehensive sort, it is quite possible that in the future (lets say if you opt for a third order now) you may question your motivations and suffer doubts and self-recrimination, saying to yourself that you wimped, etc. So it is important to be honest with yourself and to make sure you make your decisions for the right reasons and in the most prudent fashion possible.

I recommend you take several steps.

The first is to look for a spiritual director. It is very stabilizing and reassuring to have a prudent opinion to use as a guide in our decisions, especially if we are the more nervous type.

Then take your fears by the horns. Visit whatever religious order you are interested in. Even a short visit can be tremendously helpful towards seeing if we were made for that life or not. In addition, most orders have a postulancy, which is a time you can live in community before formally becoming a novice, and this allows you to see if your fears of living in a community are founded.

As you think about the future you should factor in as well, that before taking vows a person goes through postulancy and novitiate, and before perpetual vows there are several years of temporary vows. All of this means that the probability of you taking vows and regretting it forever is quite low. You will test if the life is for you, and if it is you will find there, despite the difficulty and obvious sacrifice it entails, your happiness now and after this life.  

So if you go and see, whether it be a visit or a trial period, and discover that you are not made for community life, you will be certain you dont have a vocation and this will put your conscience at rest as you seek other ways to serve Christ and the Church.    

God bless.