Dear Lauren,

When we are talking about our love for Christ we have to keep in mind certain stages or levels by which it usually progresses. First of all we have to remember that our ability to love Christ is a gift that God gives us, we couldnt do it on our own, it would be impossible without grace. It is linked directly to the gift of faith in such a way that what usually happens is this, we look at Christ and what he has done for us with the eyes of faith, and it hits home to us: how much he must love me to have suffered and died on the Cross so as to save me from sin and to open the gates of heaven for me! That overwhelms our heart, triggers deep feelings, and moves us to thank him and to want to love him back like he deserves.

Now there are two tests that show how genuine our love is, one is what we are willing to do for him concretely, and the other is what we are willing to do for our neighbor, since whatever we do to one another we do to him.

The feelings you have probably do mean that you are genuinely falling in love with Christ; however, they do not mean your love is mature as yet, for only time and fidelity in trial can make love blossom and mature. Mature love does not come easy. What we need to do is to take our initial love, which for now is expressed in feelings, and begin to express it in actions, have it grow independently of our feelings, be faithful even when the feelings are not there, and especially show it in our charity towards our neighbor, especially when we are severely tempted to act differently.

The challenge for you, and with so much peer-pressure around you are going to have many an occasion to rise to it, is to be faithful to Christ in all you do your pass-times, music, behavior, at home, etc Be faithful to your daily prayer, keep studying and practicing your faith Ask him how best you can show your love for him and how best you can do his work.

If you do this, you will be able to hear more clearly Christs call to your soul, and you will get a better sense if you might have a vocation.   

As regards your natural attraction to boys well, the word says it all, it is natural; it is ingrained in our nature, placed there by God himself. Any attraction or interest, and not only your attraction to boys, can have one of two opposite effects on us; it can either draw us closer to Christ, or it can become a hindrance. If you thought you had a vocation but nevertheless cultivated an emotional attachment to a boy it would probably hinder your relationship with Christ. If you have a group of healthy friends and you do things together that help you grow closer to Christ and put him first in your life, that would be no problem. It is us up to you to judge what applies to your situation.

God bless. Fr Anthony