Dear Jamie, 

What you are describing is not unusual, and it is perhaps one of the most natural things that can happen to us. Let's see if I can help you with a few reflections.

To start off, God is always going to keep on making wonderful people - attractive, agreeable, good people. The man you have met is not going to be the last such person you will ever meet in your life, whether you get married or become a nun. The way we allow such people to affect us depends on the direction we have given our life, the options we have taken, and the love we have committed ourselves to. When a person is married and somebody terribly interesting crosses her path, she does not immediately think it is God calling her to make a change. She knows what God wants her to do, and she doesn't let a new person intrude on her life or the commitments she has already made before God. She continues to give herself to her husband and family and lets no one else get close or in the way.

When God calls us to consecrated life and we respond, it is just the same. Every attractive person we meet (and a person who is good and virtuous, seeking holiness, is very attractive) is not a sign from God. If you think God is calling you to give your life to him as a consecrated religious, react in the same way as a married woman to all new acquaintances that cross your path. Consecration is becoming Christ's bride.

Maybe what happened is this, you were looking at your choice as something that you were going to do in the future, not something that made a difference now. And so maybe your guard was down. But now you have to make some choices, admittedly hard. You need to go back in prayer and see if all the signs are there that God is calling you to be a nun. If they are, though it will be difficult you need to break with this excellent man because you already have a fiancé.

Be sure of my prayers.

God bless,