Dear Christine,

If you take the option of waiting to see if there is a guy out there for you, it is quite probable that you will find him, or spend a lot of time waiting and wondering, never knowing if it is time to try the vocation or not, etc However, in none of these cases will you find the answer to the question, do I (or did I) have a vocation? Not finding the right man is not the essence of a vocation. Falling in love is not of itself a sign you dont or didnt have a vocation. (For example, a consecrated person might be careless and imprudent, and end up falling in love. That wouldnt eliminate his or her vocation).

Feeling Gods call, getting the help of a spiritual director, making sure there are no signs against the vocation and your motives are proper, being accepted in an order, putting your whole heart and soul into living it, these are the steps that help us discern and test a vocation. Notice that dating and falling in love are not among them.

Some people do date and fall in love only to discover that this is not Gods will, and then they find their vocation. Some might even run away from the vocation and try to immerse themselves in human love only to discover that Gods pull is stronger, but that does not mean everyone has to follow that same path. In my experience it is relatively common for a young person to be counseled to try human love in order to discover or prepare for a vocation, but what then happens is that human love happens, it absorbs everything and the vocation is never tested.

If you give yourself to Christ as his Bride in answer to his call and you are truly called, believe me you will never regret not having the chance to get married. Humanly, you might at times wonder what it would have been like, but then when you turn to him it all has meaning, there is nothing to compare with his company and his fidelity.

God bless.