Dear Teresa,
It seems to me that our Lord is taking care of you and being very insistent with you. And you also are making time for him by praying and going to church during the week. As well as that you are aware of your own weakness and the fact that it will not be easy to give up all the things you have received. So, while you say you feel kind of lost, there are really many things in place in your life. Here are some more steps you can take.
First you should make Jesus once and for all the center of your life; make your prayer a conversation with him, open your heart to see how much he has loved us by dying on the cross and rising from the dead to take away our sins. Begin to read the writings of some of your great Spanish saints so as to get to know him better. Give your heart to him.
Second, it seems to me it might be a good idea for you to finish off university if you only have a year to do. I say this because you don't mention any particular order you are interested in, and you might need that year to go visiting and prepare yourself to follow your vocation.
Third, if you see you have many possessions and may be attached to them, start doing without some things. Start putting aside what is superfluous. Among your possessions count the gift of time, and start using it more wisely: make time for regular daily prayer (if possible, Mass and daily Communion), start looking for ways to serve others. If you are going to university in Spain, you probably have friends who have left their faith - try to get them back, start a study circle or something like that to help them think through what matters in life... If you need contacts or people to get in touch with in order to do something like this, let me know where in Spain you live and I may be able to give you some names.
I hope these points help. Don't worry if others laugh at you, put God first, and you will see how he guides and blesses you. |