www.vocation.com - I want to give God the first shot in life but feel tha

	Scott asks: Dear Fr. Bannon, I am eighteen years old, and I recently came out of a seminary. It was a decision made with the help of my spiritual director. The time I spent as a Novice truly was a time of great suffering... loneliness, feeling out of place, and even depression for a long period of time. When I came home there was a strong urge (from my mother especially) among parishoners, family, and friends to stay open to the priesthood even though I was sure that God was calling me to the married life. I made the decision (somewhat reluctantly) that when I go to Ave Maria College in January I will be in the Pre-Theologate program so that I could give God time to speak to me before jumping into dating (dating is prohibited to members of Pre-Theologate). My problem now is that the loneliness is setting in again. I keep meeting these really great girls, and it's really hard to keep myself detached from them. Do you think that I am doing a wise thing or wasting my time at the expense of my happiness?
	Dear Scott, There are lessons to be learned from your previous experience in a seminary setting. The type of reactions you are talking about would seem to point away from a vocation to the priesthood, and not just to the particular seminary you were in. On top of this, you seem to have gone about your discernment in the best way, with the help of a spiritual director and not acting on a whim. However, if you do have lingering doubts and your conscience is not at rest without giving it "one last shot" to make sure, you may want to give yourself a semester in the pre-teologate. If you see that things continue to develop as they did in the previous seminary, then you will have your answer, which in my estimation you should take as final. God bless.


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