Dear Andy,

I'll answer your questions first, and then get back to your situation.

I definitely am not lonely! Why not? Well, first of all on the inside I am not lonely because Christ is always with me. As long as you pray and have the Eucharist you cannot be spiritually lonely. And on the outside I am not lonely because I have many "brothers" I work with who all live the same life, are dedicated to the same things, have the same ideals, are willing to help me out just as I am willing to help them, and with whom I can relax. I am never alone in the spiritual battles that are a part of life because I have a spiritual director I can trust.

Now, as regards your situation. You try not to think about the priesthood because of how difficult celibacy seems to be (nearly impossible, terribly lonely). I would just like you to think about this for a moment: your fears are based on what you think the life is like, the way you imagine it has to be. The only way to overcome these fears is to look at the life more closely. If it is not what you are called to you will have nothing to worry about. If it is what God wants you to do, what seems impossible will be possible with God's grace, the help of others and your own effort to correspond to what God wants. Notice that I said "possible" and not "easy". Christian life, whether as a priest or a layperson is never "easy".