www.vocation.com - My parents opposed my vocation and I've been drifting

	June asks: When I was younger I was very sure of my vocation (to become a nun, a White Sister). I thought that God had called me to help African people through my faith in and love for Him and with my hard work, however, my parents did not accept my vocation. They told me I had to go to the University first. They felt this would be a good thing in case I changed my mind about my vocation later on. Even though I wanted to study medicine, I have finished my university work in Computer Science. During this time, I met a lot of boys and went to a lot of parties. I feel more materialistic than I did some years ago and I feel very bad because of it. I have also been trying to go back to my first "call". I think that because this call persists in my interior, it must be something important. Here is the problem. I told my parents (my father isn't very Catholic but my mother is) and they are very sad. My mother even cried! My father is sad because he wants to have grandchildren that give "permanence" to his last name. My mother told me that I can't leave her now that she's "old" especially since she has taken care of me all my life. I don't know if I must obey my parents "as the Bible says" and make them happy or if should I become a White Sister as I have dreamt of since I was a child (even if I've lived this kind of "bad life" for the past two years...)?
	Dear June, You have a very difficult decision ahead of you. It is not difficult to see what you should do, but it will be difficult to do it because of the attitude of your parents. I will make several considerations. Your parents got you to do university before following your vocation as a precaution, so you would have something to fall back on if your vocation did not work out; at least that is what they said at the time. Now they seem to be playing on your feelings. Are you obliged to do as they say? You are obliged to "honor your father and your mother", but when a young woman gets married she "leaves her father and mother, and cleaves to her husband". It is the same with a vocation. There is no contradiction between these two "words" of Scripture. When you are a child, honoring your father and mother means obeying them; but when you grow up God expects you to do what he wants. He is our real father, and the only one with complete rights over us, and even he does not force our obedience. But you do have to consider if you are really necessary for your parents' support in the future. If you have brothers and/or sisters your presence will not be indispensable; if they have normal insurance and savings, you will not have to be there for them to rely on. Barring some extraordinary circumstance it would seem you are not obliged to stay. Now we come to another point: if you are personally ready for religious life. You mention some "bad experiences" during these last two years. Since this may cover a wide spectrum of possibilities, rather than speculate I would encourage you to speak about this with someone you know and trust. I would suggest doing so with a priest in confession, tell him what you have gotten into, and ask him if what you have done would be an impediment to a vocation. The fact that despite not feeling the same sureness, and realizing that you are more materialistic than when you first considered the vocation, you still recognize that the vocation persists and you want to give it its place is very significant. It means you are still spiritually sensitive and have a sense of what is truly important in life. If you have a vocation this will help you greatly in the difficulties you will encounter in following it. It is a very good basis to work from. God bless,


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